Thanks everyone for coming by. I guess it's been a while since I've posted to my own thread. Life has been very busy lately with work and home life.
Things have been going pretty well with my W and myself. Last week while I was working lots of hours, she was really supportive, which is a nice change.
We went out last Friday so she could get her Karaoke fix, and out of nowhere she held my hand, leaned over with tears in her eyes, and told me she was sorry. It was a poignent moment...and it did make me feel pretty good.
The weekend was pretty tough. Seemed like every time I turned around there was a reminder of her A. If it wasn't a song on the radio, it was something on TV, or a story someone told us about someone else, or even a dream that I had. It kind of put me in a funk. As a result, I told my W yesterday that I was upset, and she was pretty cool about it...like she's been lately. When I mention how I'm feeling, she says that she thinks it will take time but it will get better. Why does this annoy me? I mean, it doesn't annoy me when you guys tell me that, but it bugs me when she does. Hmmm... In any case, my response was that I said I felt angry with her for having an A. I was mellow when I said it, but I said the words, "have an A." She didn't like hearing the words and actually said, "Don't say that." Perhaps things have been sinking in a bit more lately...
Other than that, nothing really new to report. Just living life the way it should be lived, I guess...which is mundanely-fantastic if you ask me.
Quoting jethro: We went out last Friday so she could get her Karaoke fix, and out of nowhere she held my hand, leaned over with tears in her eyes, and told me she was sorry. It was a poignent moment...and it did make me feel pretty good.
Wow. The spontaneous apology so many of us hope for! Good for you AND your w. that she was able to give it.
Quote: The weekend was pretty tough. Seemed like every time I turned around there was a reminder of her A. If it wasn't a song on the radio, it was something on TV, or a story someone told us about someone else, or even a dream that I had. It kind of put me in a funk. As a result, I told my W yesterday that I was upset, and she was pretty cool about it...like she's been lately. When I mention how I'm feeling, she says that she thinks it will take time but it will get better. Why does this annoy me? I mean, it doesn't annoy me when you guys tell me that, but it bugs me when she does.
Because it seems slightly dismissive of your feelings? (Tho' that's probably not her intent...). Maybe it's better to say her response isn't validating of your feelings?
Quote: Other than that, nothing really new to report. Just living life the way it should be lived, I guess...which is mundanely-fantastic if you ask me.
Wow...such a quick post and full of lots of stuff! Gald to hear that life is moving along.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
The heart felt apology - another goal reached, just took a little time to get there.
I have all the confidence in you that you will obtain all your goals. All it will take is time and I believe you are starting to accept that...
Jethro, one concern I have is every so often you bring up that you are upset due to A. Do you also bring up the times when you enjoy just being with her? I'm sure you have some. I only mention it because you haven't posted it here, but its important this is mention far more times than the former.
Finally, got all five birch stumps out last weekend, how'd you doin' with your trees?
Quoting KAW:Jethro, one concern I have is every so often you bring up that you are upset due to A. Do you also bring up the times when you enjoy just being with her?
Umm...not specifically. I do tell her that I appreciate all of the things she does right though. She's really been trying and it's been pretty good.
So, about a month ago, I was getting very frustrated because she wasn't doing things "with conviction." Well, I think I was too focused on watching to see what she does rather than kick back, do my own thing, and let her do these things herself. I have found that ever since I've been able to let go a bit, and not pressure myself into DBing with perfection, I have also released some pressure on my W. I am more relaxed as a result, as is she. Interesting how that can work the other way too...
In any case, things just continue to roll along. I do have a question for some of you guys. When my W and I first began to "Piece," (and even during her A) her libido was...how should I say this...active. A few months later, it is not that active, but mine hasn't changed. As difficult as it is to say, I think that during her A she was turned on by her "activities," then when we first started "Piecing," it was like a flood of emotions or energy or something, and she was really active. So, now that she's much more present, she's less "interested." What's everyone else's experiences here? This can be frustrating sometimes.
Quoting KAW:Finally, got all five birch stumps out last weekend, how'd you doin' with your trees?
Well, not too good. I haven't done anything with my trees, but I did some big-time hedge trimming on Saturday. I'm just delaying the inevitable...
In any case, things just continue to roll along. I do have a question for some of you guys. When my W and I first began to "Piece," (and even during her A) her libido was...how should I say this...active. A few months later, it is not that active, but mine hasn't changed. As difficult as it is to say, I think that during her A she was turned on by her "activities," then when we first started "Piecing," it was like a flood of emotions or energy or something, and she was really active. So, now that she's much more present, she's less "interested." What's everyone else's experiences here? This can be frustrating sometimes.
well let's see....before disclosure of h's a there was "no action" perhaps because I was preg and h is one of those that finds "that" taboo (no fair!!!) and then it was three months after birth of dd...then our sex life seemed to be back to "normal" especially because we were supposedly "piecing" then but the real fun didn't come till h's return after the seperation...when I tell you h couldn't get enough of me...that's putting it midly!! since then things have dwindled...seems to be the norm with these sits...of course as many who read my threads know...I wish it were more and feel duped as a result of his high drive upon return...but I'm trying not to focus on that area of the r...again no fair..but for now there are more important aspects of the r to tackle despite the fact that I'd like to be tackled regularly!!
all in all jethro things sound like they are going pretty well for you!!
Yea, I've experienced the same pattern, too. Recently there's really been a drop off in any kind of physical intimacy, but she contributes this lack of desire to her depression of late. Don't think that is applicable to your sitch. Last night she didn't even want to hold hands, but that's another story story all together ... been in the dog house since Sunday...
Good to hear from you! Congrats on the heartfelt apology. I think she can feel your pain, but can probably only allow herself to feel it every once in a while. As for the sex thing, all I can say is maybe it's the season - my desire has disappeared completely...of course in my case, that's probably a good thing, since I have no partner .
As difficult as it is to say, I think that during her A she was turned on by her "activities," then when we first started "Piecing," it was like a flood of emotions or energy or something, and she was really active. So, now that she's much more present, she's less "interested." What's everyone else's experiences here? This can be frustrating sometimes. 
