Thanks, guys! My favorite part of the day was when the massage therapist said, "Happy birthday! And don't worry--your thirties will be fantastic." I said, "Thanks, but I'm 39." He jumped a little and said "You're thirty-nine? I"m sorry--I didn't know you were 39." Then he continued to apologize. I'm going back there every day just so I can hear that again.
And Slowly, thanks for your thoughts there. I was really uncomfortable when he asked me--you confirmed my gut feelings on how to respond.
Not much new these days. H has been sticking to this new and reduced visitation plan: Tuesday and Saturday only, apparently. I didn't even see him yesterday, but that was not my problem--I was at a yoga class and then helped a friend making her wedding invitations. H called me a couple of times, and we finally connected in the afternoon on the phone. He had some scarey news. About a year ago (I think) he had a growth in the area under his chin. It was removed and was tested--all was wll. Last Tuesday he told me it was back, and it was bigger than before--I felt it. He went in to the doc on Thursday, and the doctor called in a plasitc surgeon to come deal with it on Friday. H went in very confidently becaue the last time this happened, it was a quick procedure with minimum discomfort. This time it didn't go so well. The mass they removed is being tested, and he feels OK about that, BUT the local anesthetic didn't take well and he felt everything that they did. He was pretty shaken by it all. I offered to bring him dinner, etc., but he didn't want anything, big surprise. I'm a little worried that he's back on Vicodin with this--he appeared to be developing a "mild" addiction, if there is such a thing, to it last year when I smashed my thumb. He was able to stop when he realized that it didn't feel good, but I really think it's easy for him to get hooked on something for a while--it numbs the pain that he feels. Anyway, he seems to be in his cave right now as a rule. I call once in a while to say hello and to let him know how FABULOUSLY I am doing :), but that's about it. I'm sending him a lot of postive energy right now to help him heal and to be healthy overall.
Here's something funny: when he was telling me about that Stephen Wright CD, he told me that there was a JW joke on it! I tell you, the universe has a great sense of humor. Here it is: I'm in the Jehovah's Witness protection program. I go door to door, but I tell them I'm someone else. He thought it was funny, which is probably a good sign. The old H would have thought it was hilarious.
I was out with FF last night, and we decided to go by H's place. I've never done that before. It was a drab duplex--two townhouses with nothing to indicate that anyone even lived there. Pretty pathetic. I didn't feel a whole lot seeing it. He often says stuff like, "I went back to my place...I don't know what to call it because it certainly isn't a home." I always think, "Well, buddy, you know where you can come if you want to be HOME." The pity parites continue almost everytime I see him. I just let him spin and keep showing him very quietly how different OUR HOME is from where he lives now...not much else I can do.
So life rages on. I finally joined the gym where I've taken these yoga classes--now that I've put money down, I will feel compelled to go. I'm enjoying the signs of spring and looking forward to getting out in the dirt. I'm working on our taxes, which I loathe, but it will be good to get that taken care of. I went to a free concert today with the Seattle Men's Chorus and Rick Steves, the travel guy from PBS. One of his thoughts really struck me: if something isn't to your liking, change your liking.
AND the Dalai Lama is coming to Seattle in April and I'm getting tickets to hear him speak!
I feel good.
BTW, I heard some funny jokes to on "Prairie Home Companion." Here's my favorite:
Knock knock. Who's there? Control freak. Now you say, "Control freak who?"
HAH!
Be well, my friends. And for those of you who are buried in snow: Spring IS coming. Don't worry--you can't stop it.
