One more thing, in regards to this part of my reply:
And you say I deserve happiness and you hope it is with you and you hope I can be patient. Well, I can be patient with almost anything regarding you, I hope you have seen that in the past 16 years. But I cannot and will not be patient with the cheating factor anymore. Tolerating/forgiving/avoiding/ignoring it has only gotten me more pain. So if you want there to be that flicker of hope for us to salvage, or I would prefer, rebuild entirely our marriage relationship, she has to be gone. Now. This minute. I can't bear to watch another week/month go by with you stringing us both along trying to make a decision. Maybe I am bad for you too b/c I put up with so much. But as your wife, whom you seem to still want to be with at least in time, I am telling you this is a defining moment. If you don't give up Stephanie NOW, there will be no time in the future when you can have me back in your life as anything more than Nate and [censored]'s mom. If you can give her up NOW and let me know that you have, then that is a step on the road to seeing if we can be "us" again once you are "you" again.
Because I said this, and he followed up by putting out the phones and telling me he ended it w/OW, I feel like I said I would give "us" a chance again. So that is why I am ambivalent about being too negative/firm with him now. Although the other part of me worries he only did what I asked to keep the peace while he continues to be with OW. I wonder if part of it should be tangible proof (a voicemail he received, a TM he sent) that he really did end it??
Oh well I am overthinking right now. Going to put the kids to bed and check in after another 90 minutes or so when I go to bed.....THANKS for the advice!
