You say don't go to him, he'll come to you. Let him find his path home on his own. (I didn't read that until I posted again). That is what I thought I would be doing if I acted Kalni-like. You know, if I was cheerful and focusing on me and the kids and if he decided to come around, so be it. No pressure, no expectations, and no giddyness if he decided to pay me attention...but then what would I do if he started to hug/kiss/fondle me again, etc??
Anyway I do think that a big part of our problem (also voiced to me by my Individual C) is that H has never really had to feel the consequences of his actions before.....can someone help tell me what that would look like since we live in two different places as it is?
1)I already plan to stop sending the cheerful, random text messages I was sending (like, good luck with the calf today (smiley face icon)).
2)I already plan not to call H unless it is kid related
3)I already plan not to make any physical overtures toward him
But he came over and hugged and kissed me goodbye today and said I love you to me. What do I do in that situation? Push him away before he can hug me? Stand like a statue while he hugs me?? Just nod and smile when he says he loves me? That first night (Fri) when he hugged my head and kissed it I just stood there. Maybe that was the right thing to do but I have responded since then so again I don't know if I should clarify my change of heart...
