I'm 33, my W is 32, S 9, and D 4. We've been M 10 years, but were highschool sweethearts (had a 1-year breakup during college times). Recap: - 1st bomb occurred 10/01 and included the "I love you, but not in love" talk where she told me that she's been unhappy for a long time--with M, being a mom, regrets, etc. - 2nd bomb was 10/02. Pretty much the same conversation, but she concentrated more on the M being a failure than the children so much. It was after this second incident I found DR. - 3rd bomb was on 12/28/02. Found out that my W had a PA--from 12/01-9/02. But after this bomb my W has said that she is back to work on our M.
So, now that a few months have gone by my W seems to be back to her old self...pretty much. At present I'm trying to get a handle on my own feelings. It's not so much that I'm harboring venomous feelings about OM or anything. It's more that after all I've been through, I expect to have a fulfilling R after many years of not having one. This is somewhat problematic as I'm impatient and my W is still trying to get her head straight.
I am eating crow right now because of something KAW said to me today on my previous thread about...well basically...chilling out. I pretty much came to the same conclusion, but hearing it from someone else helped, and I applied it with a fervor today. As a result, I heard an ILY, which I've only heard a couple times since bomb 3. Thanks, KAW.
So, these last weeks have been a strain on me and it's affecting my W. This, as a result, is pushing her away, which is contrary to my goals...naturally. I am now recalibrated and ready to rock!
jethro
