Please help...need MLC advice

[sandi2]

Hi, I've read your story and I am probably going to get a 2X4 from some DB'er but here goes anyway.....

I wanted to respond to you before you allowed him to spend the weekend at your house, but just read your thread tonight and so that has past. I don't trust him for a second b/c he has this OW controlling him. I was afraid that before that weekend was over there would be something he could find negative to say about you. To have our MIL's over when the house is messed up makes it even worse! You would think that they would realize what you had before he left you (hired help,etc.) and how things are now instead of finding fault with you. But, he is not that same person any now. I don't trust that OW and I think she was the one that probably threw a fit about having your "brats" over all weekend messing up their place, is why he wanted to stay at your place. I would go so far as to say that she could have place the idea in his mind that would be a good time to get any "dirt" on you to use in court. There is a time to be nice and there is a time to fight for your life, sweetie. I think the time has come to do what you need to do for you and your kids.

She doesn't have kids and she sure does not want yours....you can bet your bottom dollar on that! Oh she may try to make the Judge think she does, but honey, she only want your H's money! She has upscaled and she knows it.

Yuck. I do NOT want to see H and OW together! Plus, I did not know L was planning to do this, and KNOW I will get sh** from H about it. Ugh. What do I do? What do I say? (I kinda know, but would love to hear it from you guys.)

Do I take someone with me to court? A friend? MIL? She has offered to go, though I know she would feel uncomfortable. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Seeing the OW with your H is the least of your concerns! Listen to me. You go into that courtroom swinging! You tell your L to get every penny he can get from your H and to make sure the Judge knows how he has neglected supporting you and his children in the lifestyle you are accostumed to during the S. That Judge needs to know how this has affected those kids, also. You know why he wanted to settle out of court, don't you? B/c he is the one that has committed adultry (I hope he gets a woman Judge!) and he has shown his neglect to his family. He walked away from his family and left them almost destitute. Let your lawyer lay it on thick. He won't have to stretch the truth....just tell all of it! Don't allow him to get away with this. Your children deserve everything that daddy can afford them! To think he wanted you to have another baby just b/c he felt something lacking in his life!!! Makes me chew at the bits thinking about it.

Maybe you will still love him in the end.....who can say. But if he and OW get married.....you need to move on with your life. Of course, there will be the tie between you, him and the kids. But, that doesn't mean you have to see him or have talks with him except for business or emergencies. I'm sure the Judge will give you full custody, considering H's adultry. You take that alimony and don't bat an eye. You earned it! You will probably want to sell the house and get something smaller and that will help on the housework. BTW, have you ever looked up flylady.com ? It is great!

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Your H is probably in MLC and by the time he gets out of it he will realize the destruction he has caused and it will be all to late. There is a chance that he won't M the OW. He might get his eyes open to her real self before he goes that far. If so, and he wants to return home, well......that will be up to you and then you will really need to grab that DR book again.

I'm pulling for you. You be strong. Take your friends, family, his partners, the Pastor, heck the entire community.....and see how he feels sitting in that courtroom with his OW! (Just kidding......but do take the ones that you feel gives you strength.

Take care of yourself and stay in touch with us.

Sandi2