I think I scared most of you away with my Mega-Long post!!
Anyway, still not sure the best route. My gut says just go with the Kalni-method, upbeat, happy, semi-flirtatious around H and enjoy the good times if/when they come. But my head says H needs firmer consequences for his actions, because my heart will really take a beating if we flirt and have good times and then 3 months down the road I learn he is still cheating on me....
As H left 15 minutes ago he hugged the kids. They each wrapped themselves around a leg and tried not to let him go. He told them ILY and hugged them. Then he came and hugged me and said, I love you, too. He said it, not me! I said, I know, me too (role reversal anyone??).
Then I went a little over the top. As he looked back from the door, I said "You are still cute, you know". He said, "You are too." Then I thought he said something so I turned again from the stove (cooking supper for kids and I) and walked toward him. His eyes were filled with tears. So I just said, "Drive safe, let me know you made it back okay". He said okay and left. I didn't watch him go, follow him to the car, any of the stuff I usually do. I looked up from cooking and saw his car going down the road a minute later so he took a little while to leave the driveway I guess.
Then 5 minutes ago, he called and just said, "Well that was hard". I said "What" H said, "Leaving just now". I of course said something dumb "Well, we have been known to move as a family before..." H said, "I know, I know..." Then I tried to cover and just said "You can call whenever you want to talk to the kids and they will see you next Friday. Pretty soon we will all be in Iowa." H said "Okay, talk to you later then."
It was a glimpse of old H. To call right after he left is something that hasn't happened in probably a year....for sure not since I found out about the A in November.
So I think I will go with just not calling or texting him unless it is kid-related. He can come to me. I am not going to send him smiley face or heart or other flirty messages right now and feel like a fool if he is sending the same kind of stuff to someone else...
But over all today was good. Church was good and I spent only a little time w/H since he worked in the basement all day. We had a "normal", calm conversation about doing taxes and the truck he is buying. Time will tell how we proceed.
As he looked back from the door, I said "You are still cute, you know". He said, "You are too." Then I thought he said something so I turned again from the stove (cooking supper for kids and I) and walked toward him. His eyes were filled with tears. So I just said, "Drive safe, let me know you made it back okay". He said okay and left. I didn't watch him go, follow him to the car, any of the stuff I usually do. I looked up from cooking and saw his car going down the road a minute later so he took a little while to leave the driveway I guess.
