Ok, I am back! What I was trying to figure out was where was the disaster? You know me by now... You know we are all here to support you, right?
Listen, this is just me and I maybe completely off (you see where my marriage is at the moment so you know I am not good at this...)(liability claims not accepted).
You give him a lot of power. You are letting him play with your feelings with a free pass. You are not PROTECTING you. You have a good PMA most of the times but it is still so fragile you let him drag you down in a sec. When I say no expectations I don't mean that, deep down inside I don't want my H to act differently, it means to me that although I do want him to treat me differently I KNOW he will NOT. So where does that leave me? I cann't get easily distracted. I can keep my "line flat", most of the times (you know, you have been reading me). And consequently I have better judgement capabilities and I keep CALM.
You got upset because you expected him to show remorse, guilt, what? And what if he did but still wanted to go ahead with the plan of the Easter arrangements? What difference would that make for you? Our men decided for whatever reason to leave. They will act accordingly. I realise the fact you guys are ML is confusing BUT it's your choice as much as it is his. If you thought you would get him to think twice, affect him somehow, you know by now you don't. So, what do you do? (as much as I hate actually saying this).
Detach. You know the horses that have the eye pads so that they can only see the road straight ahead? Think of yourself as one. What straight ahead is, you should figure it out. Is it him and your family? Then focus on that and make strategic choices and decisions. As Ali said once, it all feels so unnatural but I add the prize will feel worth of the efforts.
W2, I am trying so hard everyday, it gets easier though. I get used to it. He has no rights on me and my mental state unless I give them to him. Of course it took many many months while still living together and as I mentioned he is good NOT playing with my head and feelings. He is very careful.
So goals: allow him NOT to make you miserable again, you can f$^ck your head up on your own if you need to,(my only fear right now is me and my dramas), don't need his help.
I love your idea about the PWP. GREAT IDEA, I would join if they had one here.
Forget Easter, what did you expect? The guy is thinking of how to get away right now, not of how to come to you... Just MUTE him everytime he says something that hurts. You can do it!
Enjoy Easter, it is just a day, you know what I did for Christmas? I was thinking this is the last worst Christmas I will ever have...(in the begining I thought i wasn't surviving Christmas). Guess who had a terrible time and TOLD me afterwards, not me...
Listen, me & you (and Liz & Ali, & Lisa)(it's getting crowded here) in the end, we still have Woog...(smiled?)
