You haven't posted for a while and I start to miss you
Any news?
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I almost feel like giving up. As soon as I get somewhere something happens and it all gets worst again. D and I went to a friends house last night. They are good friends with us and the H is Ds God Father.
They think H is confused. I mentioned to them that I didn't sign any D papers but H said he submitted them. My friend said that doesn't make sense because he said that I was suppossed to sign BEFORE the D was filed. Not sure how it works here but I think I better start my research.
I think alot of Hs confusion has to do with the mini EA of about 2 months ago. The woman is committed to working on her M and I'm happy for her but I think H has mixed feelings about it.
He told my friend that I wasn't calling him to ask where he is much and was a bit surprised. he told me he liked some of the changes he saw in me.
On another note H told me yesterday that he was seeing a C and has had 2 sessions so far. I told him I hope the C wasn't telling him to get a D. He said the C wasn't telling him either to get a D or not to get a D. I also told him I hoped the C helped.
Thats about it I guess.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I almost feel like giving up. As soon as I get somewhere something happens and it all gets worst again.
I hear you, Jen.
I felt like giving up every other day since the OW news. And still - here I am.
Don't remember where did it come from ( too many threads) but I loved it: "today is not the day when I quit...". And tomorrow... Well, you will decide tomorrow.
Are you sure your H is not an MLCer? Total confusion is one of the major symptoms.
Have to go now, will catch up with you later.
(((((((hugs))))))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
He's noticing that you're changing and he's liking these changes.. you are on the right track and just have to try to hang in there.. keep changing and growning.. you are turning into the person you didn't even realize you were wanting to be.. hopefully your H will recognize the quality individual standing here for her marriage!
I am amazed at all of the fantastic people that find themselves in the same situation. I know that we are not perfect.. as we all have our faults.. but the fact that we value marriage and the commitments we made to our spouses speaks volumes about the inner beauty of everyone DBing here!
Today H came by so we could go to the park. We were talking about our apartment and how he was going to be moving to another one maybe as early as this week. I asked him about the D and he said he was moving forward with it. He said he didn't want to give me false hope but there will always be the possibility that we will get back together but that right now he felt this was the best thing for us. He feels that we both need to grow as people before we can commit to each other. He's not saying he's returning at all but doesn't want me to feel we're 100% over.
He was telling me about his C session and how great the C was. It seems that the C is pro marriage (yippee) but is obviously making H think real hard. Homework for next session is to tell the C what he feels for me. H explained that he cares for me so much and thinks I'm a great person but doesn't love me like before. His C was explaining to him that love changes over time and what you felt for your S in the beginning quite often changes so even though it doesn't feel like love it often still is in some apsects love.
I told him that this would be a learning experience for me too and I would do my best to make the most out of a bad sitch.
He was telling me that he thought our friends (the sames ones I was with Friday) M was so wonderful and that most of it was because they don't need to do everything together. They both spend time with other friends and it makes them stronger as a couple.
He also told me that the friend whom he'll live with is NOT getting a D but they are talking a year to spend apart and then after the year the H will go back home a work on his M. Thats an interseting thought isn't it?!?
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Oh and H's C told asked him if he really tried to make the M work. H said yes but the C said that "somethimes we think we have tried but we never really did". H said that statement really hit him hard and got him thinking.
I'm liking his C right now.
Jen
Last edited by JenInVen; 03/09/0811:37 PM.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
So he opened up yesterday about the session with his C and then today when I asked him when his next session is he replied with "I'm not gonna tell you that"
I guess this wishy washy is normal right?
I feel like he's reading the books! Here he is creating mystery.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
How come! You are the one who's supposed to create mystery
I think it's normal that he doesn't want to tell you about his next session. He opened up to you and got scared. Now it's time for him to hide in his tunnel for a while.
His C sounds awesome! I hope she will help him see the light, Would you want him to read the books, by the way? I'd prefer to keep them for myself...
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
He's a Scorpio so he's destined to keep a little of himself private I'm afraid.
Yeah the most I got out of him was that he has a session this week. He has a male Dr. and he perscribed some heopathic tincture to take in the mornings. Hope its magic "see the light" potion!!
I hope he shares some more with me when he's ready but I'll do a 180 and not ask anymore about it.
I'd never want him to read the books with our sitch like this. Maybe if we get back together I'll share some with him.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
