I'm going to just forget was a disaster I was yesterday.. today I awoke with renewed determination. I'm not certain how long it will last but I do notice the down times are dealt with much faster for me now.. I don't have days and days of pity parties any more. So that's a plus I guess!
Thanks Kalni, Woog, Jenny, Jen, Stella, Bear and Gypsy (if I missed someone I do apologize).
I need to do some major shake ups for myself. I do think H and I are in stage 2.. the friendship stage.. I guess like Ali in her sitch I worry that "mates" is all I'm ever going to get. Funny how I can be logical when it comes to things other people are going through and yet I somehow manage to discredit any of the things that are small steps in my sitch. I'm sure my problem is expectation. I TRULY do try not to have any expectations.. but realistically I know that I still do.. and as soon as I see any positive sign I think in the deep slumbers of my mind I think he's on his way.. and that he'll be home in no time.. but then reality sets in and he backs away.
I'm thinking, although I'm still wanting my marriage, of joining parents without partners (PWP). I'm not looking at it as a way to meet men but I am looking at it as a way to meet new people. Don't get me wrong, I love my current friends (and you guys of course ) but I do feel like a third wheel with a lot of them. Majority of my friends are married or in very committed relationships and although I am happy for them it does make me sad for me. This PWP has workshops and things to do family wise and things for just adults. A lot of my problems with me right now are that I feel alone. I don't have a lot of friends where we live.. and my family all live an hour away. So if I could really build a network of people I think my GAL will really start. I'll see how it goes. I can be a bit on the shy side when meeting people (it's the introvert in me).. but I need to start making friends.. and I hoping this is a good way to start.
I'm going to check in on all of you now..
And Kalni, any insight you can offer with helping me set up some goals would be fabulous!
) but I do feel like a third wheel with a lot of them. Majority of my friends are married or in very committed relationships and although I am happy for them it does make me sad for me. This PWP has workshops and things to do family wise and things for just adults. A lot of my problems with me right now are that I feel alone. I don't have a lot of friends where we live.. and my family all live an hour away. So if I could really build a network of people I think my GAL will really start. I'll see how it goes. I can be a bit on the shy side when meeting people (it's the introvert in me).. but I need to start making friends.. and I hoping this is a good way to start.
