Sh*t. My emotions are all over the place. Just back from a long walk and realize that I may have decided on D as the way to go but that doesn't change a whole lot of things.
1 week ago W couldn't decide between staying and leaving. She said I was a wonderful person and she admired what I'd been doing, but couldn't get past her feelings for OM. She also said she's been approaching this linearly and just wanted an answer - hated feeling in limbo. After C, she decided she wanted to try things with OM, but asked if I'd be willing to give it 6 months. Today she wholeheartedly agreed to D and didn't think things could've worked between us. Of course she thinks she's found her soul-mate and who knows, maybe she has.
What this says to me is that she is still in major conflict and that C had probably chided her to make a decision. Do I want to continue DBing through this process? Good question. I've enforced my boundary - I'm not going to be on the back burner while she enjoys being with OM to see if it'll work. But I can still be open to reconciliation if she chooses to get rid of OM and do the hard work.
*sigh*. I think I need to keep DBing until this is done. At least now I feel more a sense of detachment - no expectations for the future. Just be myself and get on with life.
