Day has been up and down. H and I seemed to have gone dark without even trying. Texting only and the phone calls to the kids to tell them goodnight. I suppose there isn't much to say at this point. He is very polite and kind when we speak. I am the same.
Either way is hard, with him in the home or out, but I must say that him being out (while difficult) is the best path for me right now. I have had enough of 'in my face' stuff, that's for sure.
Went to the mall and out to dinner with the girls and a close friend of mine. She actually had an A years ago. She knows about H and I, but I haven't gotten to the A yet. We had a nice time. Thanks for asking miss saffie.
I've been meaning to pop in to ask how you're faring, but all I've been able to do is to lurk a little and then get caught up in work or something else.
From the tone of your words you sound exactly like a friend of mine in our Divorce Care group when she reached this point about last December. (I'll call her "M".) It's like "M" got to this point where she just didn't really care any more whether it would work out between her and her WAH. It still hurt her, but she began letting it all go.
Currently she's much further along. By the time her STBXH filed last month, she expressed an initial sting but then quickly felt relief that her 18 month ordeal was coming to an end. Since then "M" has shown incredible strength and a positive, almost happy outlook -- she's still sad for the death of her M, especially for the sake of her two DD's, but she definitely appears eager to put this all behind her. Early in their separation, she found God (after being agnostic most of her life) and has really grown spiritually.
I hope you're doing better. I am sorry your vacation could not have produced a more happier circumstance for all of you.
nocode, I am a lot like "M", I think. I feel like I can face things, I am not afraid of the divorce anymore. I see it happening even more now that H has moved out and we are so dark. Part of me is so very lonely and experience the occasional 'sting', but its better than my life has been in a year. I go between raw shock that this is happening and acceptance.
The vacation did one major thing for me. Helped me let go, drop the rope, and let H be H. I try not to think about his actions while he is away from us.
Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart. I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it. I would be nothing without you.
Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be. I could fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings.
