nocode, I am a lot like "M", I think. I feel like I can face things, I am not afraid of the divorce anymore. I see it happening even more now that H has moved out and we are so dark. Part of me is so very lonely and experience the occasional 'sting', but its better than my life has been in a year. I go between raw shock that this is happening and acceptance.
The vacation did one major thing for me. Helped me let go, drop the rope, and let H be H. I try not to think about his actions while he is away from us.
