(By the way my conformation name is Michael). You have done it. When W gets a job and the money sitch is better I am flying out to see ya. You are so right. As ya know We (MEN) are in a difficult position. Being a Man we want to stick up for what is right. We want to kick the ass of that Punk that picks on the little kid. That is the way I have always been. Ever since grade school I ALWAYS defended the underdog against the Ass holes of the world. But Here I am. The worlds "biggest ass hole" to me (the OM) and I can't do anything about it. These are the thought that run through my mind when I was rote tilling my Garden. It makes me feel like less of a Man for not sticking up for my family. Yes I know W had just as much to do with it but still I love her I hate him.
But Yes I am getting allot better at "letting go" of the past. The one year anniversary of me finding the Pictures is coming up. I know what you are saying about W and the feeling of the past. That is what is so frustrating. I can see / feel her holding back. I know if she would just allow herself to "let go of the past" the bad part (in her mind) of our marriage and go with the flow the "feelings" would come back. Like you said I am chipping away at that resistance. I just need you and the others here to knock me up along side my head now and then to keep me in line. Thanks. As you probably know it is hard to look at positive things that are happening and just take them as that positive things. I somehow look at them as "some kind of trick" she is playing on me. Things have been ALOT better since our "talk" I do think she feels less pressure now and since her computer has been fixed she also is not having as many bad moods. WHEN EVER she comes to me and starts talking about her frustrations in finding a job I have been trying to confirm her frustrations INSTEAD of trying to fix them. What I mean is for example (to make it simple) if she said it was too hot in the house, before I would say "you should turn the heat down." Now I have been saying "I agree with ya it sure is hot." I am hoping this will get her to feel that I understand her feelings. That I am listening her HER and not the problem and dismissing her worries with solutions. Another thing that happened yesterday. I was in the yard working and W came out and asked how many miles were on the 1968 mustang. I told her I'm not sure I know it's over 100 thousand. W said that she had the insurance form up on the computer and needed to know so she might take a ride to go look. (The mustang in her mom's garage across town). I ask her if she wanted me to go and she said "no I can do it". I said it may be locked; I sometimes lock cars without thinking about it. (Was thanking she would grab the extra keys just in case). Well about a half hour later I went in to ask her how many miles it had. She said it was locked and she could not see the odometer. (The windows are tinted). I then asked "Do you want me to go look?" and wife said; "if you don't mind" I said I will be right back. Ok now I don't really know how to explain it. But in the past she may have said something like "Ya go look". but this simple "if you don't mind" I don't know it made me feel that somehow MY feelings, my wants mattered" Do you know what I mean? Silly isn't it. Oh ya it has 179534.4 miles on it…
Ok I have kept ya long enough remember I owe you a beer buddy.
Hope to see ya soon.
Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
