SF, The conversation you had w/your h is not surprising. One of the issues w/them returning is will it be like it was before. Will my spouse forgive me for what I've done? Will my spouse bring up my mistakes when he/she is angry or annoyed about something I have done or haven't done? These are the questions he's wrestling w/at this time. The only thing you can do is show him that things are different now. Actions do speak louder than words and you are doing everything correctly. Listening, talking and pointing out how things were before and now is all good.
He's being very open and honest w/you and we all suspected that the relationship just wasn't there any longer. Continue on the path you are on for it's the one that will bring you and your h back together again. It's a slow process, but I'd rather see a slow one than a fast one. Coming home is a major event for the both of you and when he does come home, it will be worth the wait.
You are doing beautifully!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
