H is having affair after all

[Evie]

Thank you my friends, i really appreciate your words, they have bought me to tears.

No his words wont make it better b/c i think he's still lying, if my instinct is right, something was hapening a year ago. We had new mobile phones, the ones where you opt to have no itemised phone bills and he pratically slept with his phone under his pillow. When we ML it was always from behind, never with eye contact and with hardly any kissing, sounds awful now but at the time you do it. When he said it wasn't exciting in the bedroom, i told him i didn't feel loved by him or emotionaly connected and I needed that connection to be able to 'let go'.

Also the viagra issue, did he need it to get it up with me on the once week occasion we did it? When I discovered it he said the issues were his and he had sought help and working on it himself, he rehid the tablets but i found them and i monitored them, he was taking them reguarly on a tuesday night, i couldn't fathom it out at the time. He also had regular repeat perscriptions (not cheap either, £35.00 for 4 tablets) he used to take 1/2 a one at a time. So was he struggling to get it up if he was with o/w or was it for extra prowess?

I have no way of knowing when the affair started and i will probably never know the full story, i've offered him teh chance to come clean with honesty before i hear any more gossip, but i know he hasn't the balls to face me and why should he in his eyes he isn't guilty. I hope he hurts, what hurt do you think they suffer? hurt for himself i think b/c he's been found out and they neva intended for it to do so.

I hope he feels remorse for the lying and for having her in my home, i would settle for that right now.

LWB - our situations are very similiar, if the affair is finished, H is till saying he doesn't want me and she wasn't the reason he left, that hurts b/c he was emotionally detached from me to have had an affair and now he is still not connected, so i don't think he will decide to come back? I would love it if he was grovelling right now.


Holly - what made your H want to recommit? did you constantly have the ilybnilwy speech?

I have also turned mobile off for today, there is nothing more i want to say and nothing more i want to hear from him right now.

x Eve