here comes the sun.,...It will be alright

[Michael Mc C]

Okay, hate replying to myself but I forgot my suggestios....

Husband, when she says that was a long time ago, just agree. Yeah, it was a long time ago. Don't make a big deal out of it. Don't take it to mean that things have changed. If she says things have changed, ask her WHAT has changed. Otherwise, take it as a truth. IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

So what? I met my wife a LONG time ago. 21 years almost. Does your wife feel the same as she did when those things happened? No, not at the moment. But she knows how special those times were. She remembers, as well as you, what they meant.

Keep that in mind. Do not judge her for her statements. She is trying to shield herself from what has happened. You can fight her by saying that they WERE special times or you can let her slowly remember how special they were by giving her ways of remembering of who YOU are.

I know you've been doing this. My recommendation is to continue reminding her of who you are. This would be a hell of a lot easier in person. I've got the thoughts, just not the words right now.

Continue being Manuel FOR Manuel. You know what was special in the past, even if your W is not ready to face that.