H, If you want to continue rebuilding your marriage, the best thing you can do is forget the past. Live and learn. Period. End.
On the other hand, If you want answers to all your questions, revenge, and want her to hurt as bad as you have.....keep pressing these issues of the past. Only bad side to this is it will not help your marriage at all.
You have to decide if you want answers or your wife. Its been 5 years since my wifes affair. I have a hundred questions I would like to have answers to. But I chose to forgive and am happily married.
Good luck with your decisions. Theres nothing easy about it.
Ya I guess you are right. Thanks. I have learned to post here BEFORE I stick my foot inmy mouth. I know I have come soo far I stil have far to go. but life is ok. KML thanks for the "Possible responses:" I can't wait for her to get a job so we can start working on us. ( that's my wife and I not me and KML)
later H
Last edited by husband; 03/08/0805:15 AM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
The urge to say something is gone. I will have a come back when the time arrives without mentioning the OM.
Journaling: Today I decided to take the day off from "work" to work in the back yard. It had really gotten out of control since it was hard for me to think I was going to be living here for a while. Anyway I forgot and my alarm went off at 2:45 am and I started to get up but then remembered. I tried to get back to sleep but it was hard. Today was my son's first day of softball. He had to be at the parade at 9:00 am. At 8:00 am Wife and son were still asleep in his room. I opened the door and told him to get up. I went outside to finish up some stuff and when I came back in W was in shower. I got son ready after listening to him whine about it and when we were leaving I yelled to W Good bye. She said something and I asked son what she said and he said she said "ok I’ll be here". (Sub note. Last year W went to ONE (1) game the whole season. Ya see she signs son up for things and I end up taking him.) Anyway we get to the parade and they sing the national anthem. (Still gives me shivers when I hear that) Anyway after the parade was over here comes my W. I said “I didn't think you were coming" she said I told you I will be right there. If you waited another 5 min's we could have come together". I said I'm sorry When son said you said " I'll be here not I'll be there". She said that it was ok. So my son's first game was going to be at 3:00 today. But..... When we got home I heard wife talking to son saying.” Son when you make a commitment you need to stick to it, you go talk to your father". Another side note. W has made this statement before... How I so want to say "ya just like your mother made when we got married". But I don't... So I go into room to find out what is going on. Son does not want to play baseball this year. I told him if he really does not want to play he will have to tell the coach. Then W said and I will take the $100.00 reg we paid out of your bank account. He said that would be fine. (Like taking money he does not see in going to be a big thing to him). Anyway I told him he has to play today’s game and then can tell coach at next practice. Then I went out and continued working in yard. So now it's time for the game. The coach wants the players there 30 min before so they can warm up. W said she would meet us there. After we got there I got a little windy so I called home and told W if she comes she should bring a jacket. I then asked her to bring mine too. So the game is going and Wife shows up with my jacket. She watches 3 innings and then said she is going to go so she can have dinner ready for when we get home. Ok now are you ready for this........................................................................I JOKENLY SAID “before you go can you get me some nachos at the snack bar... and I kind of laughed.THEN SHE SAID....."Ya I can go get you some. Give me the money" OK this is a new one. First the snack bar was at the other field so it was not a short walk, Second WIFE NEVER GOES AND GETS ME THINGS I ASK FOR.... Ok I mean if she was getting something for herself ya she would pick up something for me but... a special trip just for me........ I really was not hungry but hey I gave her the money and said get something for you too... she brought back the nachos and a water for me and did not get anything for her. Then she left. Well that's about it for tonight. I am beat from working out in the yard. W is over her Mom's watching "roots" so I think I will go watch a little T.V myself. I am going to work in the morning to pick up some overtime pay.
Later Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Worked all day in the yard and then took son to base ball. was going to go see Nephew who is getting Divorced but was too tired so I let W go to her mom's and I am home with son.. well I am home son is down the street riding his bike with his buddy. we live on a court. his mom makes him come in when it gets dark but hey she is not here. So I told him to be home by 8:00. ( hopefully Wife won'tbe home yet..
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I wanted to read the rest of the posts but I got to this one and had to stop reading. When she says "that was a long time ago" I know exactly what you're feeling man. You are feeling that what those memories mean to you are lost, that she doesn't care about what those moments really meant. Don't buy into it. Things change but memories do not. She know the truth husband. She feels the same way about those times as she did back then.
She doesn't want to admit to you that there is something special about your past, about you. This is my belief. I have been there, I am still there.
She isn't ready for the two of you to be back to being "the two of you". I am there now. She knows that there is nothing wrong with you, with the two of you.
As much as it hurts to hear that those special moments are things of the past you need to believe, to know, that she feels the way she did back then. My opinion is that she does not have the fortitude yet to accept that YOU and SHE are a great couple.
Husband, this is my opinion.
Latest Thread
Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
