So the cheapest retainer you found was $2000.00. That is tough when money is tight. You are right - I didn't make suggestions on how you may be able to find sources of money.
Do you have any other sources where you may be able to draw on funds? Happy Today's X cleaned out all of their accounts. She took out a $5000 loan for a retainer.
I am concerned that the settlement agreement that you signed may have already locked you into some not so favorable terms. The intial meeting is usually free. Perhaps you can go see an attorney and get his/her thoughts on whether the settlement can be overtutned and/or whether there are other options available for you if the settlment cannot be overturned - and the costs associated with these options.
That may help you make a decision regarding whether it is worth the risk of taking out a loan.
Does the settlement specify that you own the home - then you may be able to take out an equity loan.
Also you mentioned that H has not paid any support - even tho he is suppose to.. An attorney may be able to work on getting that for you - and you can agree to pay a percentage of the suppport money to the attorney.
There are also firms that provide pro bono services. If your income is below the poverty level - you may be able to get some assistance there.
You seem like a bright person. Clearly you have done your research. It is just that with legal matters, no matter how much research of the black letter law that you do - there are no books that teach you how far you can push things or how to manipulate the law to your advantage.
I think we are all getting a little emotional b/c we have dealt with some of the issues that you are facing and don't want to see you go from a bad situatio to an even worse situation.
I am truly all ears to all your and evryone recommendations..anything helps.
My credit is shot! My credit is now the worst its ever been..I am ashamed to say. I wasnt able to pay some loans that have gone into collections and w/ my tax & I had to make a settlement on one and cacth up on others. Gosh my credit was better when I was single and own my own tiny condo. Which btw STBX made me sale even though I wanted to rent out when we baught our now house.
The 2 attorneys I saw had a inital consult fee and like I said before for some reason they said I have a good case I didnt need an attorney. They looked over the agreement and agreed its completely valid but if I pleed to the judge how I want to change some things he shouldnt have any promblems /w that, especially seeing as how I dont have an atorney to repersent he may even get my H to pay for one for me.I know I am not counting on it but can be hopefull while still trying to find an attorney now who will work w/ me.
thanks you for your concern and if you get any more ideas please dont hesitate to drop by again!
I am sorry to hear about you financial situation. A GF in law school went through something similar in during her D and her credit was a mess. Well - at least H's credit is shot along with your credit.
Why aren't you receiving the support payments you are suppose to receive? Is H just not paying?
Also did H lie or withold any information that is in the settlement? That might qualify as fraud give you more teeth in getting the settlement overturned.
If your income falls below the poverty line, you may qualify for aid through law firms that do pro bono work.
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The 2 attorneys I saw had a inital consult fee and like I said before for some reason they said I have a good case I didnt need an attorney.
I am liking these two attorneys less and less. First why two attorneys? Icky law firms try to have as many attorneys as they can get away with sitting in on a single meeting and bill you by the hour for all of their times. And second a initial consult fee??? Usually during the initial consult the attorneys identify the issues and get back to you with an estimate. You have a right to ask for an estimate. It is an opportunity for you to interview the attorney.
In my experience, no matter how unfair the agreement - it is very hard to overturn valid signed agreements. Judges have to follow the law too. Did the attorneys mention the word "equity." That is the only thing basis I can think of... That is when something is so unfair that it would be inequitable to enforce something so unfair.
I think you may qualify for the rebate checks that are being sent out by the gov't. Maybe you can use that money. You are in one of those situations where you have to spend money (that you don't have) to get the money you need to get back on your feet...
I really wish there was a good attorney that would sit down with you for just an hour and spell out your options clearly... There are so many attorneys that really don't have a clue...
Hang in there and don't give up. Keep doing your research.
If H behaves in a threatening manner towards you again, call the police. He has a history - so you won't be out of line. And you will have an active DV case w/in the definition of the law. Then you will be eligible for legal aid.
I will let you know if I think if anything. You will get through this. Lean on your faith as you have been doing to give you the strength you need to get through this.
I think I prolly didnt word it correctly- I saw two different attorneys from two different firms.
I was so naive when I signed the agreement and I just gave in to H as he was rushing me so until I got to the breaking point and I didnt check what I was entitled to BEFORE I signed.
In the agreement I waived any alimony or his 401K. The agreement sates I haev my own 401k _WELL..I hadnt worked for a company that gave me the benefits of 401k until the job I have now which I can only afford $25 a pay period so I only have $600 in it! STBX I beleive has a good $20G so far, he puts a good chunk into his.
Also I thought I HAD to LET him write the kids of on his taxes. So, the agreement states we will trade off years on our taxes.I found out later when the lawyers told me I am the primary parental custodian and I get all right to the taxes.
He wanted to rewrite the agreement since it has been 6 months now and it it reads I had 6 months to live in the house if it didnt sell. I told him not to. I didnt want to re sign anymore. The realtor is suppose to come by next week for me to sign for the listing of the house.
H initally wanted to sell for only what he owes..HA! I knew the realtor woudlnt go for that -Heck he needs to make a profit too! So I hope it sell soon and i can use that $ to start over- rent and deposit, etc.
Hey about that tax rebate? Will evryone who has dependants get it?
He wanted to rewrite the agreement since it has been 6 months now and it it reads I had 6 months to live in the house if it didnt sell. I told him not to. I didnt want to re sign anymore.
Does H wants to REWRITE agreement? That is GOOD NEWS!!!!
Then tell him you are willing to REWRITE the old agreement. Go to any attorney - dig up money however you can to have an attorney prepare the paperwork that you both have to sign to get the old settlement voided! Or tell H to get his attorney to prepare the paperwork to VOID the old agreement so you guys can REWRITE! If H's attorney drafts the paperwork - go to your attorney and just have them review it to make sure there is no funny stuff in there.
Then you get to start all over again. You do not want H to want to amend the agreement - but it looks like he used the word REWRITE - not void!!!!
Once that settlement is voided b/c BOTH parties agreed to VOID it! You get to start all over again - and negotiate alimony, 401k, the works!
You just need to be careful so H doesn't get suspicious. He thinks he can manipulate you - perpetuate that illusion for now!
I changed my mind - don't do the part I bolded. It will make H suspicious. Play dumb - do whatever it takes to get his signature to void the old settlement.
With a the old settlement gone, you will be able to afford an attorney b/c H will have to pay!
I am not sure about the default D - I think it is possible but not sure about the specifics. I don't think it can happen in two weeks.
looks like he used the word REWRITE - not void!!!!
He used the rewrite NOT AMEND!
When H sent you the agreement last time - had he already signed it so you were the second person to sign it?
Hopefully H has an overconfident and ignorant attorney.... You want to receive a first document that voids the OLD settlement and he will probably send a new settlement at the same time. Hopefully H signs it so his signature is already there. Then you just sign the voiding document and DO NOT sign H's new settlement.
You can always suggest he go ahead and sign it so it will go more quickly.
Oh chicki - it would be so cool if things worked out for you this way.
Can you tell I am excited that H may be handing you the rope you need to hang him?
Let me see if I can be clear w/o bouncing all over the place.
(i) The first step is to agree with H to rewrite the agreement. Do not act in a way that H will get suspicious - mirror the way you acted the first time he bulldozed the first settlement through.
You want as as if he has you where he wants you and rushes to get the first settlement voided before YOU change your mind.
(ii) The second goal is that there are two separate documents - the voiding of the first document and the new settlement. Hopefully H has a greedy attorney that thinks he can charge more for two different documents
Perhaps agreeing the list the house for sale asap will do it - that will require the voiding the first settlement - but NOT require the new settlement to be in place... You can always be "afraid" of violating the terms of the OLD settlement and politely ask H if he can arrange to get that one voided BEFORE you list the house - so you are comfortable listing the house ASAP. That may not give him enough time to get the new settlement drafted an in place BEFORE the old one is voided.
H is eager to sell the house - use that to your advantage.
(iii) The third goal is to get H's signature on the documents first. So you can sign the voiding document and NOT sign the new settlement.
Unless he just sends the voiding paperwork - then it doesn't matter who signs first.
I also wanted to mention - the reason you want two separate documents is that you DO NOT want a new settlement that says - in the new settlement that it replaces any old settlement.
That is what I would do if I was H's attorney. That is why you need to manipulate H to void the old settlement before he has time to prepare the new settlement.
