It started out with bad news for a friend of mine. He has a W that is "stuck" at home (I believe she may be MLC but it is tough to tell). He has been going through this for 3 years. She has two little ones and she is a stay at home mom so it is difficult for her to do anything right now. In fact, he has said to me that he thinks she would leave, like my W did, if the kids were older.
Anyway, I called him because he had left a message on my answering machine last night while I was out with my family. Apparently, their mortgage had been sold several months ago to a third party mortgage company and they had continued paying to a well known mortgage company the entire time. Unfortunately, the new holder of their mortgage forclosed on them and they were alerted on Friday they had to be out by Monday!
So here we are packing up a house full of stuff today, while they were trying to find an apartment, storage locker for all the extra stuff and a moving truck. My friend is beside himself.
The challenge is that he told me, in private, that his wife didn't realize it until a couple of weeks ago and tried to fix the problem on her own. She had waited too long to tell him and this was the result.
I spoke with him, reminding him that a house is not a "home" and that he has told me many times in the past that his wife and children are more important than anything else. He knows that but right now he doesn't know if he can get past this dishonesty issue with his wife.
He is so depressed. He said he doesnt know when he will be able to get his family into another house and it has just beaten him down.
What a bad day!
Poor Mother?
On a personal note, my W and I spoke about our D today. My W was telling me that it is great that our D wants to start spending the night but she doesn't know if she can have our D every Thursday night. My W said it doesnt make any sense because our D has never spent the night and now has for three nights in a row. She expects our D to all of a sudden act as though she doesnt want to spend the night anymore. I said that you know how teenage girls are and just try to be patient with her.
My W then said that it may be a challenge because her mom is going to be leaving her cat with my W for 3 - 4 weeks while she is out of town and our D is allergic to cats. My W added that she was thinking of asking her mom if she could keep the cat since our D never spent the night.
Honestly, I could tell my W wanted to have the cat more than our D!!! She sounded disappointed that our D was going to spend more time with her!!!
For those of you with spouses (doesnt matter whether male or female) that became distant to their children during MLC, did they become attentive to the kids again as they worked through things? I am having trouble with how our kids are treated for more than how I am treated.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
