After reading through quite a bit of this thread, I really believe that my H is going through an Identity Crisis (he's 28). The questions that he is constantly asking himself run through is mind morning, noon and night. "What is in store for my future? If I do this, then what will happen then... etc." He is majorly concerned w/ his lack of desire to have children and how that will affect the two of us. I've always wanted children, but I want him more. I feel like that we can't make major decisions like that when a person is in the thought process that he is currently in. But he wants to have the answer now, and if he doesn't then that means that we need to move on.
I cant tell if my H is just a WAS or if he is having a MLC. Or are those two connected somehow? My H is very young.. he is 26, will be 27. Realized that he only has 4 more years to become a firefighter. That is pretty much all he sees in his head. He is being very selfish. He said that he will not be happy until he is a firefighter. He also has said that he isnt going to care about anyone or anything until he is a firefighter. So does he care about the OW or is he just using her? Because he sure has detached from his 3S's, and if OW is more important then them, than to me that is just wrong!! But it was almost as if he woke up one day and was like "wow, I gotta get out of here. She is holding me back. I can't have a life if I stay here" and then literally RAN out the door. That is how quickly he walked away, he didnt walk at all, it was more of a sprint!!! When I read the sections in DR "surviving his midlife crisis" I thought to myself "oh my gosh!" because it pretty much sounded exactly like my H. I just pray that he "snaps" out of this sometime. If my H is having a MLC and has filed D papers, can this still turn around?
My wife threw me out of our house this week. I have been reading "The Divorce Remedy" for about a week now. She came to me about a week ago and said that she wasn't in love with me anymore. I thought we were happy. We have financial problems and she started a new job. I began suspecting an affair. There were marked changes in her behavior towards me. When I confronted her about it, she trew me out of the house but never denied the affair. I feel so alone right now. We have been married for seven years and we have had more of our share of ups and downs. I love my family but this is the second time she has put us through this. We try to make changes but do not stick to them. The last time this happened she called when she hit rock bottom. I went back almost imidiatley and for three years things seemed to be OK. Is this a midlife crisis? What do I do this time if she calls me back?
