JJ, I am way on the other side of ever benefitting from a "cure" but it's my opinion that one of the underlying problems when someone goes through an emotional crises is depression. I have always felt that if my husband had agreed to treatment of his depression that we would have had a chance.
I think as the spouse of a man who is going through "MLC" that is it important to put some effort into understanding the feelings of depression. Also, men react differently to depression than women do. A woman suffering clinical depression with internalize her feelings and blame herself. A man will externalize it and blame others for the way he feels. That is why we see such anger toward their spouses when men go into "MLC."
When someone we love and have always felt secure with does a 180 on use and becomes angry, dismissive and down right hurtful it's human nature to want to react to those actions. I think if we take the time to try and understand what it driving his actions then we are more able to react with a sense of empathy.
I think it is a me, me , me mentality that we see from the person in "MLC" that is based in fear and confusion. Whats the first thing you do when you feel fear or confusion? You try to find an explanation. If you aren't coming from a healthy place emotionally then more than likely you are not going to be able to correctly explain what is causing your pain.
I guess what I am trying to say is, as hard as it might be, if you are dealing with a spouse in MLC and want to try and save your marriage you have to be willing to empathize with some of their crazy behavior. Their perception of reality may seem skewed to you but it is their perception and if you aren't willing to try and see it from their perception you are going to have a battle on your hands. Cathy
