You say "h gets frustrated" -- what does that mean exactly??
he's tired of the question...says so...doesn't know what to say..sit's in silence...offers nothing..get's agitated...tries to keep from defending himself in his angry state...frustration is what I see and hear and feel...but then I also read into his silence, searching...searching for something...perhaps battling...should I tell her or not...
Quote: LL, in terms of a VERBAL response, what else CAN he say to you? I'm sorry actually sounds like a lot....are you hoping that he'll ask you how he can help you with your feelings?
how 'bout...sorry I hurt you LL...I'm sorry I did this to us LL...I love you LL...
Quote:
Is he in love with her? Has he told you that he is or was?
yes he was in love with her...he told me so...I do not know if he still has those feelings or not...I would bet that at this point he's still got something for her..
Quote: Why do you believe that ow has your h's "in love" feelings and that you do not?
because very simply...she does have them and I do not..he did make time each day to call her because he wanted to..me I might get a call at the end of the day..sure there are some days when he'll call earlier or a few times..h also made time a few days a week to trot off to her house or to go out to lunch with her...and me he can barely find time for a 2min phone call to??
fill in the gaps...it's easy to see...h is/was in love with her...I am just his wife..the mother of his children..sure he can have a decent life with me but "in love" nope!!!
Quote: Supposedly, on "mars" no one offers help...it's only given if requested. What if you had said to h "I'm not blaming you for the way that I feel and I know that you can't solve this for me. Would you give me a hug? I know I would find that reassuring."
how's this one for ya...h I know you may not want to but if when I get to feeling this way it would help me if you were to hug me and say I do love you LL....
I've explained this to h too many friggen times and still...he says nothing...does nothing...either he's an idiot or he just doesn't love me the way a man should love a woman (oh there's another one of those lovely statements I heard from him)
Quote: ..here's the dilemma -- you made a lovely gesture and expected a particular response from h. As impossible as it is, can you make the gestures w/o expecting something from him?
become a waw??? sure no problem...I'll just keep on doing what I do...loving h...getting little in return..feeling neglected...letting it go..expecting nothing...til one day I just give up...sounds good to me..infact I think that's the path I'm already on.
here let's see...I'll show you what kind of a man h is...he's a business owner...service to him is number 1, it's huge...if a customer calls..he calls back that very day..if they need something fixed even if it's not his problem or doing..he fixes it right away...a customer just sent him and email yesterday...just sending in their payment for the season and la di da...wants their yard mowed sprinklers turned on and beds mulched by sat...uhm hello?? any way..you can be damn sure that h will be there and it will be done by sat...h realizes the importance of doing things for your customers..realizes going the extra mile ensures they will keep him year after year...they will refer him to another customer...etc....
and yet...h does not go the extra or even what should be..to ensure that his w is happy that her needs are being met...etc...why should the customers get more respect and more commitment from him than I do...no wonder lil ole ow thought he was so friggen wonderful...cause he probably jumped every time she called for something...oh what a nice guy that guy is...he's so considerate and reliable...he goes the extra mile to show us we are valued customers...we are important and our business is appreciated...
w ah screw her...she should just know I appreciate her, love her, that she's important to me etc.
