Holy Cow, I started my spring course May 1 and you have no idea how far behind I am in checking with my BB pals!
Just caught up with you though!
Lots of stuff here. I too, feel your anguish which does seem to border on depression at times. Cognitive Behavoural therapy or meds are viable options. Why suffer more than you need to???
About those dreams you posted earlier. Dreams usually reflect our OWN fears and issues. So likely as not, they were signalling your own concerns about your H's fidelity, past and future. I find it interesting that the woman in the second dreams' name was Sam....uh, does that have any particular significance on the board? (and I don't mean our beloved Sad's Sam, but just the acronym in general).
"He'll never change..." Silly alien monkey!
LL, there are so many things I could write to you about the OW and possibility of a pa etc, but would any of it help? Probably not.
Did you go to the open house??/ Oh! How tempting that would be!
LL, I read a little book called "Never be lied to again" which gives tips for when someone is lying or withholding info. I'm not proud of having read it, but I do feel somewhat empowered.
Now, for possibly the worst BB suggestion of all time (I can feel the 2X4's gearing up)...have you thought of asking ow about the extent of their R? I know it gives her power, it lets her know you don't trust what your H has said, there are countless reasons NOT to do that.
I just know that for me, having the ow confirm all of the details made it rather pointless for my H to lie any more.
I don't know, LL. I too would be a little suspicious of him getting rid of that stuff on his own. Why did he have it all locked away safe and sound until then?
Crap! I am NOT helping at all!!!!! I'm sorry LL!
I DO see really clear signs that your H DOES want YOU, has chosen YOU, is working hard in his own way to make your M work. I don't doubt any of that at all.
It just seems you are stuck on the details. So either you learn (at a gut/emotional level) to let it go, trust what he says, (probably the best way), or you gotta find out the truth.
BTW none of those letters etc scream out to me "PA"!!! Could all still be just the fantasy of "true love" high school style.
Interestingly, I have tons of stuff H wrote to OW, (which she "kindly" sent to me) but not one iota of stuff she wrote to him. I'd rather like to see some of that so I can laugh at her juvenile antics too.
