HI, LL, thanks for stopping by my new post...Haven't been up on your sitch lately...I'll try to catch up soon...my parents are coming this weekend and we are going to spend 2 (yes, that's two) TWO nights in a hotel - WITHOUT KIDS!!!!!!! Sitting around, sleeping in, going to a movie, going out to eat - whenever we want! You know, like NORMAL people do. But, I'll be away from computers...probably not a terrible thing, all things considered!
Hope you are well -sounds like things are progressing, from the few posts I just read...
LL I love how well you put feeling into words. Your last couple days post were like reading my own feelings.
Quote: so I must be a strong wife...
and I must remind myself that I was not a fool...and am not a fool...h may have made a mistake...but he's home
I am also reminding myself of this. But what do you do when you feel like the fool. I just discover H is in contact with OW. It is like he kicked me when I was down. I don't feel like facing him. Why does H not see that no matter how much he reassures me that he loves me, how great he is at calling from work and how cheerful and helpful he is at home that it seems to mean nothing when he continues to lie. So yes tonight I am the Fool.
Enough of me... I can relate to the work issue. My H also works long hours night and even some weekends. What helps me, is to realize that this isn't his choice. Maybe your H isn't choosing work over time at home. Maybe running his own business and his responsiblity to this business requires him to spend the hours he does.
Quote: I am also reminding myself of this. But what do you do when you feel like the fool. I just discover H is in contact with OW. It is like he kicked me when I was down. I don't feel like facing him. Why does H not see that no matter how much he reassures me that he loves me, how great he is at calling from work and how cheerful and helpful he is at home that it seems to mean nothing when he continues to lie. So yes tonight I am the Fool.
you are not a fool bumbling not in the least...the only fools are the one's who do lie, cheat, and basically rob themselves of a loving honest r with us!!!
my h too is in contact with ow..to what extent I do not know...she is a customer of his..so any call I may come across is labeled as being business related...I did leave the house one night with keys to his office and looked at his phone bills and saw calls to her cell phone...that was explained away as being about business, why use the cell phone?? his reason..he doesn't want to talk to her...she's less likely to answer the cell..so he can just leave a message. whatever!!!
I try to not make it be about the ow...ow is nothing..she herself said so..I kindly let her know that she was more of a piece of sh!t that we (h and I) were flushing down the toilet and if she came back up I wouldn't hesitate to take out the plunger and put her back where she belongs.
for me it is more about my h and the fact that HE did this...that he kept something from me, lied to me, left me, etc....still dealing with it...todays not a great day and I don't know why.
I also thought I was a fool....I told h I felt like a fool and his reply..."you were not a fool...you were just living your life" so then that is how I have to look at it...I am not and was not a fool...HE WAS!!! and day by day..little by little...as I show him how awesome I am (hey were'd that pma come from) and how GREAT life can be with me and the kids...he will regret more and more the poor choice he started to make...little by little..day by day..with more of that patience crap (sheesh they should sell it in stores so I could stock up) I will see signs of h realizing the mistake he made and the huge mistake he almost made.
Quote: Enough of me... I can relate to the work issue. My H also works long hours night and even some weekends. What helps me, is to realize that this isn't his choice. Maybe your H isn't choosing work over time at home. Maybe running his own business and his responsiblity to this business requires him to spend the hours he does.
h started his business when he was 19...I watched as his company grew I helped as much as I could...I watched as he sank himself more and more into his business...h works everyday...if he's not working for his business he's working here at home...we've got a great yard comming along with all the work h does...it would be nice to see h sitting on the hammock instead of sitting in the bobcat...but the summer is commming and perhaps he will have more time for it then.
I am stopping by b/c you seem to have posted on Charcoal's thread and her H is in the "I need support" forum. He is frustrated and I thought you might be able to help him.
Quote: the only fools are the one's who do lie, cheat, and basically rob themselves of a loving honest r with us!!!
I am going to print this. I think I need to read it over and over. I need to stop thinking "how can I let this happen to me" and start remembering what a great job I am doing holding my family together.
I hope I am raising compassionate sons (S9,S2) who are able to recognize their feeling and feelings of others. If my H was able to do this I do not believe he would continue to hurt not only me but our M. Yesterday, my little one actually was so sweet, when ever he saw tears in my eyes he would run to get me a tissue and give me a hug. It is amazing the healing power of little arms.
Thanks for your awsome insights and advise. Bumbling
I also thought I was a fool....I told h I felt like a fool and his reply..."you were not a fool...you were just living your life" so then that is how I have to look at it...I am not and was not a fool...HE WAS!!! and day by day..little by little...as I show him how awesome I am (hey were'd that pma come from) and how GREAT life can be with me and the kids...he will regret more and more the poor choice he started to make...little by little..day by day..with more of that patience crap (sheesh they should sell it in stores so I could stock up) I will see signs of h realizing the mistake he made and the huge mistake he almost made.
Jeez, no wonder I don't stop by more often!!!!!!
Repeat after me: There is no OW, There is no OW There is no OW, There is no OW
Quote: Repeat after me: There is no OW, There is no OW There is no OW, There is no OW
repeat after me...there was an ow...there still exists in some fashion the ow...she has not yet moved away..there are still calls being made to her cell phone (however less frequent) there was and ow and that my friend will take some time for "us" to get over!!!
well h is becomming a blabber mouth...he just goes on and on and on and on...and 99% of what he's talking about is his business....I don't mind...I enjoy listening to him..but then I start to think of ow...she is after all a customer..did she listen to him go on and on as well...when did she get an opportunity to talk...did he actually listen? or did he go blank like he at times does when I talk?
today is one of those days where I don't feel like I know the whole truth about the a...or rather that it was infact a pa and h just isn't ready to let me know that yet...
ow's house has apparently not sold yet...she's having another open house this sunday...hmmmmmmmm....I'd love to go...
anyway...just having one of those days...hopefully it will pass...
