Oh LL, I feel for you.. I too was in your boots just a year ago. But you're scaring me.. and you're going to scare your H away again like I did to my W. I couldn't let it go. I thought many times that it was easier for me without her there. I wasn't prepared for the rollercoaster ride and I certainly didn't understand that I would have to be the major supporter - and forgiver and doer in the healing process. At times I just gave up and got too frustrated... I know I'm human but I am sorry I didn't smile more, forgive more and forget more! Because I felt she didn't want to talk about issues I ended up getting depressed and giving her the cold shoulder. She obviously noticed this and it wore her down.
Well, here we are going through it again.
So my advice to you is, think about whether you really want to go through this again? If you don't then you'll have to accept him at face value. Love him, smile at him and slowly but surely let go of the past, let go of your worries. If you worry yourself to death over this then it will happen again like it did to me... and trust me, the second time around their resolve to go through with it is a lot stronger (uggg).
