thanks sue..hope you had a great mothers day too!!
ok any one up for dream analysis...this dream is similar to a dream I had while h and I were seperated..
last night was a good night...started out a bit tense...could have been me...could have been h...dunno...after a while h was being physical with me...that was nice...I did try not to...I wanted him to miss me...not just miss me...but when I bring that up I get from him the dammed if ya do dammed if ya don't so I let it go..
anyway back to the dream
I was at a party...a bit confused as to who I was there with..somehow ended up in a basement but it was a pool..my apartment (I think it was supposed to be my apartment) was through a cabinet of a kitchen on a lower floor..but the entry dissapeared...h the kids and I had moved in..but our house still exitsted...why we were there I don't know...then I was going down some stairs and caught sight of h kissing a woman...h walked on down the stairs alone...I stopped the woman and say what was that about...she just smiled and said he'd never change...her name was sam...(not the real ow's name and I don't know a sam) I decided in the dream to give up on h..that he has always been a cheater and I only now know the truth..and he will never change...I flew away (yes I can fly in my dreams if I decide to)
don't know what to make of it...
the dream I had over the summer...
I was at a party...h was there with a blonde who told me to give it up...he's been with everybody and doesn't want to be with me...give it up...
h did come home so I guess that part is irrelevant..
but has h been a cheater all along? before marriage I suppose I could accept...[censored] happens....but if this little woman is not the first and wont be the last then that I cannot accept.
I also really would like to know the truth about h's r with ow...I mean really if she wrote him a letter six years ago..what the hell was that about...we were soon to be married six years ago...and if they already had a r such that she would need to write him some ily and I'm letting you go letter six years ago before he married me then how could they have just had a platonic r for so long after we were married??
h admits to going to her house 3x a week before and after I knew about the friendship..
admits to talking to her daily...
admits to going out to lunch with her a handful of times..
admits to hugging her when she was down about her illness..
and of course admits to taking her to her cancer treatment (that is when the friendship was disclosed as he was seen by a friend of my family so he rushed to call me and tell me before I heard from someone else)
I know the ow wrote him 3 love letters (though they all seem to be written as saying goodbye) giving him a heart shaped charm (supposedly my h did not buy it for her) and a b-day card..
letters and card were signed love...also the immature...1436...also the immature use of song titles in one of the letters.
I just want to know the truth about their r...
I want to know what h did with the letters and jewelry that I brought home from his office (the night I took his keys and went searching) he did say bring them home and we'll destroy them together but when I woke they were no longer in my car and I have not heard another word about them.
I want to ask about them...I want to know what he's done with them or intends to do with them...I'm sure I will not take "I threw them away" as an answer, I need to see them destroyed.
it apears ow has not yet sold her house....
I still do not like that she is a customer and barely tolerate it.
I hope that she moves away far far away...
but the one thing I can tell you and I will tell h as well...if anything like this ever happens again..there will be no explaining...there will be no discussion..there will be no c...there will be no seperation..that will be the end...fool me once shame on you...fool me twice..shame on me.
so for now I will do my best to trust h (very very very hard to do) for now I will act as if...ow doesn't bother me..that she's really gone..that it doesn't matter that h was in love with her..hell over the years I could have been in love with others and not known it..or simply been to scared to act on it in such a way that h did..or maybe I did...I don't know..but I will not put up with it again..
so please help me for now to keep my mouth shut about the "stuff" I found....
I sooooooooooo want to just ask nicely...so what did you do with the stuff...can you please give it to me...
but I know that will just start a fight...sucks that it has to be that way!!
well if I'm a ranting tommorow you'll know if I brought it up or not.
