Don't screw yourself over financially in hopes that it will make her come back. Most people who try this just end up regretting it.
If there are areas you can afford to be generous in, then do, but only if it makes sense.
As for her plan about sharing the house and apartments - just tell her you doubt your future wife would enjoy that arrangement. (She's obviously not thinking as far as you remarrying, is she?).
As far as the other financial stuff - just calmly, kindly tell her: " I know financially it will be difficult for you, but you must remember that YOU are choosing this path. I will give you what the law says is fair. I will do my best to help you if you get in a bind. But YOU are CHOOSING this path, and it means you must also accept the consequences of your choices."
Now - having said all that - do try to be fair financially. If your wife was a SAHM, or pursued a less-aggressive career path because of mothering, she ought to be compensated somewhat for that choice. Her earning power would likely be higher now if she hadn't been raising your child, no? And she ought to get half of what you have acquired during the marriage, regardless of your state laws; marriage is a partnership and that's fair, I think.
And do try validating her - that does nOT mean agreeing with things you don't agree with, but empathetically listening so she feels heard. Example: W:" You never blah blah blah and I felt blah blah blah". You: "That must have felt awful.I'm sorry you felt that way. It was never my intention to hurt you."
Don't argue your point, or try to talk her out of her view. You can validate without agreeing.
