I haven't posted because I am not sure what to say. Last night on his way home from work H called to see if he could pick me up a tea on the way home. Came in and was in a decent mood. Never mentioned the fact that he was so irate at me the previous night or anything about the incident with OW. Also never mentioned that he is supposedly moving out. The lawyer called just as I was setting dinner on the table and I asked if I could call back. They said no because I would get the switchboard but they would put me on the list for later in the night. H knew that they were supposed to be calling heard me tell the person I wanted to speak about a legal separation. When I got off the phone he asked who it was then acted suprised when I said it was the lawyer. During dinner I asked when they call back is this what you want, he kind of raised his eyebrows looked down at his plate and then said, I'll eat the rest of your chicken if you don't want it.
We are having a very bad snowstorm here. H left for work this morning and then called about an hour later(while I was still asleep) to tell me how bad the roads were and he was still trying to get to work but he would be leaving early I asked him if he was coming here? He acted suprised(this is the same person that thursday night said that he couldn't wait any longer for the lawyer to call and he was outta here). He then sent me a text a little bit ago to say that he would be home around 2 and he would call when he left the store to let me know he was on his way. And he calls me Jeckyll and Hyde???
I did set up a babysitter for tonight and was planning on going out I don;t think that will happen since we are supposed to get another couple of feet of snow. I am looking out at the driveway thinking of shovelling. I have never had to do that before. My H did very little around the house but he did shovel. Just things I am going to have to start getting used to.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Hi, Neecy. I'm on my way to work right now before heading out of town for the remainder of the weekend.
Just wanted to say that if H is home with you tonight, NO R TALKS!!! Do not talk about the lawyer, do not ask if H is still moving out or not, do not bring up OW or anything of that nature.
Keep things light and enjoy a very low-key, pressure-free evening!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Hi, Neecy. I'm on my way to work right now before heading out of town for the remainder of the weekend.
Just wanted to say that if H is home with you tonight, NO R TALKS!!! Do not talk about the lawyer, do not ask if H is still moving out or not, do not bring up OW or anything of that nature.
Keep things light and enjoy a very low-key, pressure-free evening!
Neecy,
I AGREE.... remember what I e-mailed ya. you don't want him to make any rash desisiions. you are not going back on the boundrys you set just becasue he is back. ya might meke him or if you so chose sleep on the couch, but that is as far as I would go at this time.
Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
H called on the way home asked I if I wanted coffee or tea, then called a few minutes later fuming about how the h he was going to get in the driveway (that shovelling I was thinking about never happened).
I told him to park across the street at the arena and he was annoyed because he had forgot his boots at work came in complaining that he has another 8 hours of work to do on the driveway. I got dressed and went out, took about a half an hour to clear a spot big enough for his car, I came in a couple of times to have a sip of my tea, it is hard to do physical labour when you have lost 20 pounds in 2 months due to stress on top of the 30 pounds you had already lost dieting. I kept thinking if I do this until I collapse then he'll feel real bad. He kept saying you don;t have to do that, why are you angry?
My friend called while I was shovelling, he didn;t answer. I asked what she wanted and he said oh probably to go out. I said that is what she wanted I had set up a slepover to go out tonight. Again he was shocked, How come? I said because I didn't want to sit home alone. Not going due to the weather.
Not discussing the lawyer was hard since he called. Basically all the call was, was for us/me to ask questions and then if we want an in person consulatation they set it up, first 1/2 appt is free rest is 25% off. H listened while I talked, I offered speaker phone. He was suprised and taken aback that I had crunched the numbers to determine debt and equity and whether or not I could keep the house. The one thing that did come up in the convo that I had been not mentioning was spousal support and pensions. I make double what h makes and in our province the lower income spouse is entitled to 1.5 to 2% of the difference per year of cohabitation forever(as long as he does not remarry or live common law). I am not sure what the entitlement is to pension. This is only something that is given if asked for and there is discussion about eligibility and the percentage but fault at the breakup of the marriage is not applicable. The whole covo was odd because he was very jokey about it like we would have normally been over things in the past, woohoo I;m going to take your pension.....Maybe I will go live in the basement and you can give me spousal support and I will make sure you have no dates.
I did ask when I got off the phone if this is what he wanted and he said, I don;t know I was really mad that you went to her store on Thursday. He made a point of telling me he had not talked to her since then and then went through his texts this morning that included ones he had sent me and I had sent him friday morning. (the memory only holds less than 20 in each box) I am so confused at his motives since the whole point was that he was refusing to give up speaking to her. I didn't address it just listened. We watched Rambo 4, wow it was gory. This morning was decent, we made up wrestlers on facebook and played back and forth. He made a comment about on how on his day off tuesday he is really going to win all the matches because he can log into both accounts while I am at work. Does anyone else see why I am so confused!!! I think 20 threads from now I will still start with STILL CONFUSED.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Nothing really new to say, my mind is ready to explode with confusion and I thought a smad face was better than a bump to get my friends to talk to me.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
