Quoting lostlove: chuck I haven't called the ow since october when I last saw that she had called my h...I want to call her...I want to take her little tokens and letters that I just found and bithc slap her once or twice and return everything including the man who loves her but that would be fruitless..
LL -- I've missed something in your threads...you found letters or stuff from ow to H? What are you calling h "the man who loves her"?
Quote: LL wishes she had more faith in herself
LL wishes she truly believed the possitive things she lists about herself..but honesltly it's total crap that she tries to convince herself to get by...
LL wishes she were beautiful LL wishes she were smart LL wishes she were confident LL wishes she were strong LL wishes she were independant LL wishes she were good enough for her h...
LL doesn't know what to do with these feelings anymore...
LL -- You ARE all of these things, hon, and more! You forgot dynamic, inspirational, brave, grounded, honest, on and on. you don't feel them. you know that you need to. how can you get there?
Quote: LL still has a whole lot of healing to do..
LL wants that silly little in love feeling...
LL wants the begining again...
LL wants the r and feelings that h shared with ow...
LL had it a long time ago...
now LL is left with what comes of that feeling
the real love...
but just like h...
LL wants to be in love
LL never stopped being in love with her h...
Quote: if she had she wouldn't have married him...she wouldn't have taken him back...she lies to herself when she says it's about the kids...it isn't...it's because she truly loves this man...she watches him work...she watches him sleep...she hurts...she cries...she's in pain...a pain that h has caused with his actions...giving his affections to another woman...the truth of that r may never be known to LL...all she has are words from ow...ow's expressions of love...nothing from h to ow...
here's my 2 cents (or more)....I hear you in a tremendous amount of pain. I hear you still angry and hurt and afraid over what has happened....I see you struggling in the day to day stuff plus the need to rebuild your M. into something that is nurturing to you...all on a foundation of the aftermath of the A. PLUS (and this is a presumptuous ASSumption) some pretty big hurts and holes inside of LL that may have come from other things.
one day, one piece at a time...where can you start? my suggestion? you gotta start with you. you gotta start rebuilding LL. you KNOW and say that you have healing to do...what can you do to get there? what will "work" for you LL?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
