PS, You might find "The Mindful Way Through Depression" by Jon Kabat Zinn and others helpful. It's been a helpful book for me.
The exercises can be integrated into your daily life, rather than having to add an exercise class. It's about relating differently to your life and emotions. You seem like you have a busy life, so maybe you can learn to "slow down" and be present with your busy life, without being harried.
I found the exercises to help in between the recreational activities I have, such as when I'm dealing with responsibilities or a distressing event.
A puppy can really add quality to your life. I think it was a good decision.
One way to be more present with your life is to slow down when you're eating. We turn eating into something else to get thru instead of slowing down to enjoy the joy of food and company. I'm often catching myself eating too fast, and have to prompt myself to slow down.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
CL, Thanks for the pointers. I realize it's all about being aware of my emotions and reactions and choosing to think a certain way. But sometimes that gets so tiring. I feel like I'm constantly challenging myself to think positive thoughts and like I'm constantly fighting off anxiety. For example, when a negative thought comes into my head, it is a conscious effort for me to rid myself that thought. And it is so tiring. I feel like my brain is having a workout.
I know a lot of it is retraining my brain to think differently. But getting there is not easy.
I appreciate your support. It's nice to be able to come here and vent.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
Things going really well with H. Feeling more connected every day.
Last night, he came home from work and said he might be recommended for a job as a sales manager. A little history. He's been floundering in his career since he got out of college. Pursued the golf pro thing, but he ended up being an assistant at a golf course. Since that's all he knew, when he decided to leave that job, he was quite lost as to what he could and wanted to do.
He moved in and out of a few jobs. Then he got one as a Pharmaceutical sales rep. We thought it would be great for him -- giving him a jump start on a sales career. Well, it was when he was at this job that all went to he!! in a handbasket. Yes, problems had been building, but this job catapulted it all.
Any, this job required him to wine and dine the doctors. It was at this job where he met OW. Also in the same industry, in the wining and dining vocation. I was at home getting more and more anxious about where H was all the time.
So, fast forward two years... he has since taken a job in house at his company. It's been great for him. He's had much mroe structure. So, with this new opportunity, he'd be going back outside again. Although, it would be in a mangerial role.
Anyway, I expressed to him my concern about him going back to that type of job -- and I said that it wasn't good for our M. He said, "It's all different now. You know that". We talked about it a bit. After we talked, I felt more like a team and less concerned. I was honest about my concerns. H adddressed them.
So, now he is away for a night. I usually like it when he goes away so we can get some healthy space between us. If I weren't in such a funk lately, maybe I could enjoy my alone time more.
Still battling the blues. Working through it.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
I can sympathize with the job thing--the worry of him being gone more. My H never changed jobs, but it has become apparent that he didn't *have* to be traveling as much as he was, because he has made huge changes in the amount of travel.
I'm glad you talked through your concerns. Any fun plans for your night alone?
Aud, I can totally relate. My H went to way more "dinners" than he needed to back then.
Anyway, I'm feeling a little cheerier today. Still working through my anxiety issues every day, but trying to focus on enjoying the moment and not "thinking" too much.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
Bleh. Hang in there...and don't kick yourself too hard if you fall off the wagon. Maybe tell him you're fighting that urge? Encourage a little bit of communication?
