FISH - DIVORCE BUSTED!!!

[minkerman]

I personally believe that separation is very healthy in these situations. I really do.

I truly believe this. I didn't at first, when I was begging W to reconsider. Now I believe it. It basically forces a 'time out" so each of you can focus on yourselves. You can pull back to 30,000 feet and finally see the forest for the trees.

I told W this week that this sep was the best thing we could have done. It has allowed each of us to reflect and grow, and make incredible changes. If we reconcile, it will be great because we now know what is important for a healthy R for us. If we go our separate ways, we will be less likely to repeat these mistakes with a new partner. She knows I am OK with it going either way now, and I sense by recent comments that this bothers her.

She told me last week that she feels like she is in full control of what happens, and she doesn't like it, it's more "pressure".

Now she feels she is definitely NOT in full control...I think this reduced pressure is actually a relief for her, and I think it is seen by her as a positive for our dynamic right now.

So, my long-winded point: Yes, a separation can actually be a huge help in bringing people together.