H is having affair after all

[Jen_Jam]

No Eve, under the circumstance I think you've been fine. I can imagine you have not been shouting or screming, despite wanting to.

To my eyes it looks as if you have stated your boundaries well and not risen to H's bait (he feels bad, guilty and may be trying to project some of that onto you without even realising it)

I think the fact you stated it was time for him to talk to you honestly before you hear anymore from OW's in-laws is a good step. you have offered to him that you will not listen to gossip, you are willing to listen to him but it must be the truth. if he's going to be sensible he'll take that option.

Keep your elegant chin up, you have nothing to be ashamed of here.