(This is a duplicate, from another forum, but I think that the folks here might have some good suggestions)
My WAW is pushing for a collaborative divorce. We're at the start of the process, where we are picking lawyers, coaches, and child specialists.
It's been 5 1/2 months since the bomb was dropped, we have a 5yr old daughter, and we still live together, albeit in different rooms.
I've tried to DB in the past 2 months, although last night we got into a Relationship/communication talk, which predictably did not go well.
The challenge I have is that W essentially is saying that "we are the we are, and even though you've made changes at your core you still don't listen/empathize with me." Her big proof point of this is that I am not willing to accept her vision of how we would split assets and what living arrangements will be post Divorce.
This is a catch 22, because: 1) I don't want us to divorce, I can accept this if I must, but I don't agree with her. If I agree with her we divorce, if I don't we divorce. I lose either way... 2) We did not come into the marriage on equal footing, I had much more, and while she will leave with some assets, she won't be able to afford a house on her own. What she wants is for us to timeshare our current house, and for each to also have a studio apartment as well. Or she would like us to take the equity from the current house (law says 75% would come to me), and the last of my egg-nest (was mine prior to marriage), to buy two much smaller homes. Again, If I don't buy-into her plan I haven't changed and she won't work on R. If I do buy-into her plan then I have changed, but we divorce on her terms.
I think that I'm even willing to do what she wants if there was some willingness to work on M, but today there simply isn't, and telling her this simply comes across as coercion trying to strong-arm her into doing R work...
