H is having affair after all

[Evie]

Calmed down a lot today. Txted H to see if he wanted the boys this morning as i had stopped them from seeing h.

H was working, but warned me if i was taking the boys swimming the OW was working for the gym teaching swimming and would be in the pool.

I wanted to be able to walk onto the poolside and look at her and know he had finished it with her and not feel she was laughing at me. I asked him if it was true they were over. He said they were.

I said if it was true that her in laws were saying untrue things about them, then it was time for him to talk to me honestly, before i heard anymore lies. We haven't agreed a time to meet up as he had made plans to speak with his dad tonight.

I also said to H that for him to have had sex with someone he must be emotionally involved, i asked him how he felt about her and if he loved her? His reply was that he didn't know how he felt, or what he wanted, they were friends but he had no intention of going back to her.

Before i got into the pool i bumped into a friend who we also employ as an instructor. She said that ow was in the pool and had told her she wouldn't be working for us anymore b/c of what had happened. I asked my friend if she knew about the affair, but she said she didn't.

Now i'm getting texts off H saying he had just had a heated discussion with ow as a result of the conversation i had had with her. He said i may as well put an advert in the paper. I said i had not spoken to ow, not even looked at her, that i was above her and played with my boys, i explained i had bumped into a friend/emloyee but that ow had told her not me, but that i had asked her if she had known as others already knew and it was rumoured at work.

I feel guilty now that i have told people at work. But it seemed so many people knew already that i wanted to dispel any further gossip. And i must admit i wanted to destroy their reputations, but i was so angry, enraged.

I said to H that he needs to get things into perspective, if ow is angry/upset he needs to mutiply that be infinity and he would know how devastated and angry i am. I said she was maybe bitter b/c he had ended it, i wasn't going to argue over her, i was above that, she needed to accept the consequences, accept defeat and give in gracefully. I emphasised that they had crossed the line by bringing the affair into the house while my kids were here. I said it was now a private matter between him and i.

I've not heard anymore. I know i can hold my head up high but maybe i could have handled it better? Ok i've told my friends, but women do that, i have to talk, i cope by talking.

we'll see what happens later, i'd be happier if he didn't contac me further, i just want things to subside and die down and get back to normality, well as normal as you can be givin the circumstances.

Not good DB, but i had to say the things i felt b/c if i didnt i would be resentful.

X Eve