chuck I haven't called the ow since october when I last saw that she had called my h...I want to call her...I want to take her little tokens and letters that I just found and bithc slap her once or twice and return everything including the man who loves her but that would be fruitless..
LL still has a whole lot of healing to do..
LL wants that silly little in love feeling...
LL wants the begining again...
LL wants the r and feelings that h shared with ow...
LL had it a long time ago...
now LL is left with what comes of that feeling
the real love...
but just like h...
LL wants to be in love
LL never stopped being in love with her h...
if she had she wouldn't have married him...she wouldn't have taken him back...she lies to herself when she says it's about the kids...it isn't...it's because she truly loves this man...she watches him work...she watches him sleep...she hurts...she cries...she's in pain...a pain that h has caused with his actions...giving his affections to another woman...the truth of that r may never be known to LL...all she has are words from ow...ow's expressions of love...nothing from h to ow...
LL wishes she had more faith in herself
LL wishes she truly believed the possitive things she lists about herself..but honesltly it's total crap that she tries to convince herself to get by...
LL wishes she were beautiful LL wishes she were smart LL wishes she were confident LL wishes she were strong LL wishes she were independant LL wishes she were good enough for her h...
LL doesn't know what to do with these feelings anymore...
LL needs reasurance and isn't feeling reassured...sure h came home but LL feels it's just for the kids and h is just putting up with LL so he can be with them.
