Hey WtG, I'm so sorry about that, it sounds tough to deal with and well done you for posting here and then pinning a smile on your face, that is so hard to do when you feel emotional.
I guess he wont show you how he feels about it, whether he has any feelings or not, and surely he must have, he would have to be made of stone to not feel some poignancy about the occassion. Its hard when they do seem to unaffected, but surely in a normal break up there would be some sadness and sentimental memories at a time like taht, so perhaps it is more of him being "shut down" and withdrawn.
Its interesting that he didnt want his family to know about the separation, and even now, you cant be sure he still wants them to, he could make an excuse, or play it down with them, you dont know. Realistically if you arent together and therefore, cant spend Easter together, perhaps he just has no choice about the arrangements and it doesnt necessarily mean that the decision to separate is "cemented"? My BF told everyone we knew (inc emailing/ texting people) the same weekend of the bomb, as if to make it absolutely final. But we are still in touch and people here tell me, well you dont know yet..wait and see.
At least he did stay in the house with you, even if it was on the sofa? I would never stay in a house with someone I had ended it with if I was truly done with them, no way! Its contact at least?
I was thinking what you said about 180s.."if I've been doing enough 180's and changing things within myself. But what I'm coming to terms with is that while yes, I do have lots I can improve upon within myself...I'm not going to change myself to become a different person so H will love me. I have to be true to myself first. He used to love who I am...so is it him that's changed? "
I feel the same about my BF, sure there were some issues, but essentially he always loved me the way I was, so why change for him and also, it is him that is behaving differently, not me. I guess all you can do is go back to the essence of you, before years of perhaps domesticity and complacency set in, sort of recapture the magic of how you were with him when you met, as opposed to actually changing your basic nature? Thats what I feel.
Keep us posted W2G as I guess he is still there..? Thinking of you..
