what G.A.L really means

[peaceful_spirit]

I think that right now, you're too conflicted to make any decisions. You need to continue to work through this process, until you're not conflicted anymore -- until you know what you want -- until you stop saying, "But, what if...".

I, too, know the feeling of being conflited -- almost to the point of self torture. But I have found that the answer always come to me, in time.

As for is the WAS really the WAS... I think this is a valid point for most of the LBS. In other words, IMO, the LBS has played a significant role in the WAS leaving and having the A. Somethign was missing for them. Something wasn't right in the M. It's easy for many people to judge the WAS who has an A, saying they are "immoral" or "bad people" or whatever, but the fact is, when there is something powerful missing from the M, and the force of the A comes along to fill that void, it is easy for the WAS to fall into it.

Emotions are a strong thing. And when one is following their emotions and trying to fill their emotional needs, an A may take place.

Now, of course, having an A is "wrong" and is a betrayal. I'm just saying that if the LBS can understand how it came to be that the WAS was drawn away to begin with, it can help with forgiveness.

So, is the WAS really the WAS? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But generally speaking, it takes two to make a marriage work and it takes two to make a marriage troubled.

Now back to you... just continue on this path of self discovery. I think that in time, you will find your answer.