Hi BobbiJo - I used to be in a similar situation, and though don't post here as often, I try to look in every now and then. Your thread caught my eye because I think H is at a dangerous point.
This is a tough situation, and there are just no easy options. Kudos for all the hard work you have put in. I think you are getting great support here, and that is just so important right now. Don't feel obliged to do anything because it is what is 'expected'. If you don't feel like talking to H, just ask for some time out.
I would suggest though, that you find the courage and strength to check in on his cry for help, even if it is only by alerting his parents, or his male friends. Is the getting the help he mentions in the last sentence of his email?
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
I have fallen and cannot get back to who I was and as I cannot remember who that is it will be a long time until I get back there.
Most of my dreams seem to being falling apart fast and I barely have the energy or confidence to tackle even the most minor of problems. I miss me. I liked me once upon a time and this just sucks.
I do love you. I know that sounds pathetic with all I have done but I do and I hate the way I am treating you.
I need help and rest and without it I can fix nothing.
