I was down in basement when H got here,kids were in bed.
When I came upstairs, noticed H had the secret cell phone on the kitchen counter, in THREE PIECES! And he had his regular cell on the counter too. First time in 3 months...
But I am not one to be naive anymore. He has a brand new fancy work cell phone that looks like a calculator. I know I am techno-impaired but my phone is just a phone. His new one does email and all that stuff. Anyway what I took from it was, good, you showed me two phones. But the one you are going to use full-time now is MIA...
Maybe that is too glass-half-empty. But H has told me it was over w/OW twice now and it wasn't. He has played on my trust before. So why wouldn't he show me two phones if he is confident he can still use the other one for his happy fun time????
Oh well. I really am unmoved at this point. I went in the kitchen to rinse my beer bottle out a few minutes ago. H followed me in, put his arm around the top of my head (?) and squeezed it for about 30 seconds, then kissed the top up my head from behind. I let him do it but said and did nothing in response. It just isn't going to be that easy......
I am awake, it's 8:18 in the morning Sat 8 Mar 08, Woman's Day here, and the first thing I did was to make a coffee and check on you (and then on Woog for obvious reasons). You sound under control. As Woog says, we are all here...
Bobbi One Sock... I searched but did not find! The story of the broken foot has escaped me, and as socks are involved the mystery is driving me crazy!
By the way, I think you suspicion is warranted. From what I did gather in my search, the capacity of you husband to actually tell the truth is somewhat limited!
Hi BobbiJo - I used to be in a similar situation, and though don't post here as often, I try to look in every now and then. Your thread caught my eye because I think H is at a dangerous point.
This is a tough situation, and there are just no easy options. Kudos for all the hard work you have put in. I think you are getting great support here, and that is just so important right now. Don't feel obliged to do anything because it is what is 'expected'. If you don't feel like talking to H, just ask for some time out.
I would suggest though, that you find the courage and strength to check in on his cry for help, even if it is only by alerting his parents, or his male friends. Is the getting the help he mentions in the last sentence of his email?
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
I have fallen and cannot get back to who I was and as I cannot remember who that is it will be a long time until I get back there.
Most of my dreams seem to being falling apart fast and I barely have the energy or confidence to tackle even the most minor of problems. I miss me. I liked me once upon a time and this just sucks.
I do love you. I know that sounds pathetic with all I have done but I do and I hate the way I am treating you.
I need help and rest and without it I can fix nothing.
I haven't dropped by for a bit. I have gotten myself caught up though & just wanted you to know that I am thinking and praying for your family.
You are quite the 'Superhuman Mama' indeed. Just take things slow, which with one bad foot is about all you can do. Have fun with the kids. When you get time for yourself then do something that you have been wanting to do for a long time but never got around to. I think I am going to do some martial arts for the first time ... good for the mind, body & spirit.
You notice I have not said anything about H and that is the way you should be thinking as well. Be loving but quiet towards him. Slowly but steadily detach from him so that he can have the time he needs for himself.
God's gentle touch is as a snowflake. Let him intervene in your life. Experience the joy of his love.
Hope you had a good rest. It must have been a very emotionla evening with your H in the house. You showed amazing restraint to not respond to his hug / headlock. I would have not been able to....guaranteed. Have a good Saturday.
Nice work last night. Amazing restraint. Try and lovingly detach as much as possible.
Try to focus on yourself this weekend. Take some time and go do something special for some alone time. Maybe go get a massage or something. Treat yourself special.
No time now as H is here but FYI this am he told me he ended it last night. But I have heard that before....
He says this time it is for real bc he realized whether we ever work out or not, nothing good would ever come from that R and it was dragging him down.....He also said my statement that he would never be able to find out if we could work out as long as she was in the picture, had an impact...
Slowly--H is getting "rest" this weekend as so far he has just hung out w/the kids and sort of/also with me. No work on the basement, no cow stuff, just hanging out.
The secret cell phone is in the garbage can. When I went to bed at midnight it was on the kitchen counter. So I don't know when he threw it away but he did, in 3 pieces as I said..
I was making small talk today, I know I shouldn't but sometimes old habits die hard....mentioned a comedian we saw on our honeymoon in Vegas was in town. (Didn't mention the honeymoon or anything, just said "Harland Williams is in town".) H said try to get tickets for tonight and we can go? So I don't know how appropriate that is. I told him we could make no progress on our attempt at our M as long as OW was around. I guess he thinks telling me that he ended it w/her, and having his phone available means we can start trying again?
I don't want to be inconsistent. I did say we could try again if I felt that SHE wasn't a factor....and even though I hate what he has done I do like spending time w/H....but I am so afraid of getting closer to him again and having it blow up in my face, again...
