I wish there was some magic formula for ridding your mind of images of your H with OW. Unfortunately there isn't. My H had an A that lasted about 4 months (he never left me for her and when I found out he ended it -incidently she lives out of town so he doesn't see her anymore either). I found pictures,cards and letters from her so I know what she looks like and I know some of the places they went and some of the things they did. It has taken me a year of obcessing,imagining them together and closing my eyes and seeing her face to get to the point where I don't break down and cry. Her face is a dim image now and fading more as time passes. I still every now and then think about some things they did but they don't cause the horrible pain that it used to. I sometimes just let the thoughts come and I have learned to deal with them and as I let them filter through my head I tell myself "he loves me,he stayed with me and he never loved her and it is OVER!" I believe that time does heal. It isn't easy and it does take time to get passed an A but it can be done. I know everyone has his or her own personal way of getting over heartache and pain. You and you alone know what you are capable of handling and dealing with. My H did answer some questions about the A but I really don't know what was the truth and what wasn't because at the time I didn't feel I could believe anything he said. I did have her letters to go by so I had some answers. Was I better off not knowing? In my case I don't think so. I would have gone out of my mind wondering. Some people don't need to know things and can go on without information. I too saw her picture and it helped me to see that she wasn't anything special. She was just a plain,ordinary everyday woman and she was only 5 years younger than me. This was information that helped me come to grips with certain things that I would have obcessed about for a long long time. It is really hard to explain to someone how I got past the A and how I have managed to stay sane and not go crazy by thinking about it constantly. I have to admit that I discovered that I was a stronger person that even I had had thought I was! I have never talked to anyone in my family or even confided in my closest friends. I prayed a LOT and that has helped me get through it more than anything. Coming here and talking and listening to other people has been a tremendous help!! I don't know if I have helped you in anyway but I hope so. I am here anytime you need to talk,rant,rave,cuss,yell or discuss anything!! There are a lot of good,caring people here that will do the same. Hang in there and keep posting!!pfroglady
