My Sitch: me, 46, W 43. Married 14 years. 2 kids, elementary school. 3 years ago W dropped the bomb on me with “not in love anymore,” “nothing but roommates” oh, and another man, EA and PA. She moved out and continued w/ OM. Extreme ups and downs for the next few months and she eventually filed for divorce.
Early on I discovered DB and DBd my ass off, both books and this site... It did work, and she came home. (TIP: when she came back, said that she went crazy for a while, and no matter what she was going through, she knew that I was always there for her, even when she was treating me like s**t.) The next year or so was rocky. I discovered EA with OM continued for a while and we had some extreme problems. That is over now and has been for 18 or so months. Out relationship is now very good, I think.
Now the problem, our sex life SUCKS. Before all the above happened, it was OK. Over the last year or so, we do it once or so a week but she is not into it at all. I tend to be a bit fast, so before, I always used my hands and mouth in foreplay to try to get her there before me. Now, she basically just wants me to stick it in and be done. She won’t let me touch her, caress her, or anything. She won’t even kiss (w/ tongue) me anymore. Kisses are limited to a quick peck. (As an aside, I think the OM was much better inn bed than I was/am.)
When I was going through this before, this board was extremely helpful and in turn, I would like to think that I offered some good advice as well. Well, I’m back now, and would appreciate any and all input. My W is extremely beautiful, and I have always loved her. It literally kills me to think that she doesn’t want me like sexually anymore. Thanks for your help.
