Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #12

[missmyfriend]

Imageer, be prepared that she may end up getting really angry with you once you say you are not for the D and will not help her, no matter how sweet you are when you say it. She may interpret it as control or you being against her. She may feel like she is the "bad guy" in all of this. Whatever she says, just listen. You don't have to agree with her but you dont have to argue. It won't do any good.

My W has done all of this and now she is somewhat pleasant. She has not gone further, as far as I know, because I wont sign the parenting plan as it is worded (50/50 joint custody and legal).

You are right that it probably isnt over, even with the D. She is doing what she thinks she needs to. The OP could be pushing it but it can also be in her mind, part of the journey.