Thanks, Dodo...PMA is important, easy, but hard at the same time..
Its hard to put 10 years away and pretend they didn't have an impact on your life. But, all I can do is learn from them and hopefully begin anew.
Something I still dread the idea of doing, since I never was good at dating..
God bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
You are welcome.
I know how hard it is to ignore the years together. I put 10+ years in my M.
I found dating to be interesting.... I met about two dozen gals in roughly six months... I think it is easier for me now... I knew exactly what I was looking for in a woman...
There was never any doubt in my mind about my new wife... I knew before we met we would be getting married... God just planted that in my heart... Then, He kept sending me signs...
You will find dating to be a bit easier than you think... There are a lot of great gals out there looking for a real man who values a woman and their R.....
No_More_Dodo
Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 03/06/0803:02 AM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
I think my problem is Dodo..is that I really havent established myself too much "on the market" if that sounds okay...
I am not an extrovert on first impressions, so for me, it seems tougher than I probably make it out to be, but I feel God will put the right things in place and maybe I won't have to "date" many times to find another gal to have a good R with.
I just keep pressing...feel like a weight has been lifted though....that is an amazing feeling you can't describe.
I think my problem is Dodo..is that I really havent established myself too much "on the market" if that sounds okay...
I am not an extrovert on first impressions, so for me, it seems tougher than I probably make it out to be, but I feel God will put the right things in place and maybe I won't have to "date" many times to find another gal to have a good R with.
I just keep pressing...feel like a weight has been lifted though....that is an amazing feeling you can't describe.
God bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
That is great! The weight will come and go... It is a process...
When you are thinking about putting yourself "on the market," you should check out the following: How to Get a Date Worth Keeping
No_More_Dodo
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
I will have to check them out..it just seems so difficult at times to move on...she hasnt even mentioned D in months, so I dont know why...if she doesnt want me anymore, why dont I have papers in my hand?
I will have to check them out..it just seems so difficult at times to move on...she hasnt even mentioned D in months, so I dont know why...if she doesnt want me anymore, why dont I have papers in my hand?
I guess only God knows the answers....
God bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
I know how very hard it is at this time.... The problem is those of us who really believe in love and marriage... We have difficulty just jumping from one person to another... I know this is a positive characteristic... Yet, at this time, it feels like a curse....
There are so many questions.... I asked myself a plethora of questions over and over.... That never really helped.... It drove me crazy... I very slowly learned to release it into God's hands....
I know I am treading on thin ice by guessing about sitch... But, I will... Based on her actions, I honestly think your W does not want to D you.... I do not know if deep down inside she still really loves you or she wants you as a security blanket... God only knows that....
This puts you in a tough position.... Do you simply get on with your life, be legally married and leave it in God's hands? Do you put your stones on the line, tell her how much you love her, tell her you want to work on your M and if she does not you are going to file for D?
I would continue to pray and ask God for clear guidance. If you do not feel you have peace about which way to go, I would encourage you to continue to pray until you do.
No_More_Dodo
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Thanks, Dodo...I am not sure at this time. I do know I am not ready though for anything serious...
As for her, I feel she cares too. She has just done things that are not her because of childhood issues coming to the surface. I have discussed this numerous times, and she cant see us being happy again other than friends..
So, I am trying to move on , and God has helped so much in this. He keeps giving me my PMA support and I must say, happy with the results.
Sad thing is, the more I see her act this way (which I believe is MLC) the more I try to stay away. She is losing all her friends, our Sd12 is disgusted with her, and her best FF is ready to bolt..she is running out of options.
I know she needs to hit rock bottom in this to see who she has become....and God is letting it happen, I think...which as far all of us involved with her is...is fine..
I know the whole MLC scene all too well.... My formerly "mature" W said some of the wackiest things.... I just wish I had video camera handy....
One gal I met along the way happened to be a counselor... She asked me lots of questions about the exW... She said, "Your exW sounds like a lot of the teenagers I have counseled..." My exW was 36....
No_More_Dodo
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Yes..a teenager...I guess I really can't say too much because I could be me, but it is unreal what she does and says lately....she has only gotten this bad the last 6 months...but I know this has at least been going on for the last two years.
Now that I have GALed and separated myself from the drama, I even see more than I thought. I guess the rose colored glasses cloud the vision and truth we see in our WAS.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
