I think the common thing that Forrest and I have in our sitch is that we were both in the same house as W so we did have that daily contact with them . When I first came to this board I had moved out of my home due to W's PA, but right away Forrest told me to move back home (and face the anger). I dragged my heels a bit but eventually went home, got on with things, and learnt about the anger as I went along.
I think Forrest could coach me along cos he'd just been through that phase, I tried to do the same for you cos I could see some similarities. But because you still have this separation from W it's difficult to see how to get things moving. I think the one thing you've clearly worked out is R talks don't work. So we won't do that again. But you need to be around W to make things happen. I'm wracking my brains at the moment to see how we can get things done. But no super ideas are appearing.
The only thing coming to mind is to make more contact with W and do things with her and the kids, but not in way which says "I want us get back together as man and wife". Something more like "We've all had a fun day must do this again sometime".
But aside from that you're in territory foreign to me so I’m not much help at the moment.
I think the common thing that Forrest and I have in our sitch is that we were both in the same house as W so we did have that daily contact with them .
Unfortunately W once used the threat of "restraining order" when I tried to plead with her at the beginning of this mess. She was also banging on doors and provoking me in other ways. So the hostility felt like I was living with the enemy. And that lead to my lawyer working to get her out of the house in order to protect me. Also I didn't know squat about DBing, validating and anger abatement at that time. When I first looked at this site it turned me off; I felt like throwing up at all that I read and didn't quite get where to start. But yes I agree the separation makes it much tougher to DB at least in my case.
Originally Posted By: Lanzo
But aside from that you're in territory foreign to me so I’m not much help at the moment.
I can understand that or else you'd have piped in. But stay tuned in just in case.
Me-48, W-38 M14, D11, S7 W filed D 01/07 W had to move out 06/07 Current Thread
I see you've had Forrest stop by your thread.. that's a good sign. I believe he generally stops by threads that he feels he can help on.. so keep the hope alive my friend!!!
