on hold

[stella_k]

ok, something happened just now and I still hardly believe it!

H has called (I didn't expect him to call until tomorrow or Sunday). I was upbeat again, told him about D playing in the school concert yesterday. He said, oh, that's why nobody was home, I was calling (?).

Then we spoke about his work, beautiful weather we're having here, my work, and I asked him about his depression. He said, it's still there and still bad. I suggested a few things, including IC, gym and vitamins. He said it won't help, he still feels terrible about what he has done. And then he actually said it: I WANT THINGS BACK THE WAY THEY WERE!!!!!
Now, I don't know what I was supposed to say. That's what i said: Please, don't rush.
I said it lovingly and called him by his pet name, but still I could tell it was not what he expected! He changed the subject and said good bye pretty soon.

It was so much more then hints and I guess I should have given it right back at him!

I really don't know if I blew it or not.

I just don't want to get hurt again! My gut feeling tells me he is not done yet and I can't take his yo-yoing any longer.

Also, if I remember correctly, I should expect him to run back into the tunnel again.
(Honestly, with all that tunnel talk, I can't help but picture a small frightened mouse (H) and a big sly cat, waiting for it to stick it's nose out of the tunnel (Me).

Any thoughts please?