Already Gone

[Rob1231]

Sorry to sidetrack here, but I wanted to respond to this comment.

Hey Mark, I am new here. Just started posting only 1 month ago. I have read this current thread and must admit that it is hard to hear what some are saying about DBing actually not helping them in their M, as I am still in the early stages and hoping this may work.

AH, I think you will find that DBing by itself does not save marriages. When a marriage is being threatened by one person's MLC, nothing the other person does can "fix" that. The MLCer has to eventually come back to reality on their own.

However, DBing DOES do many wonderful things. It gives the WAS the support to get through this horrible period. It shows the WAS how to detach from the craziness that their spouse is going through. It helps the WAS learn to be happy and healthy in their own right. These are all great, and necessary if the M is going to ever stand a chance again - but they are not a guarantee.

With a lot of work on helping yourself, and a lot of patience while your spouse goes through their MLC, you MAY reach a point where rebuilding the M can begin. Or you may not. Which one happens is outside of your control.

Either way, though, YOU will be a better, stronger, happier person - and in the end, that's the most important thing.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled thread.