Wow, I think that's great Stub! She's starting to recognize you as a human being and not an object just meant for her satisfaction, she's starting to see a R! Yes, you were sick and weren't there for her nor yourself, that's a tough go for both parties. She went outside the R because of need and resentment. I think the recognition on her part is very positive (so is the nasty words with OW!!!). My W was a childhood caretaker too and you're right they have little patience for those who aren't up to par in the adult world. My diabetes story is probably a perfect example of it. Childhood caretakers are adults before their time and expect to have their childhood needs met in adult life. You are to nurture them with no expectation of return nurturing, you are to know their every need and take care of it without being told. I once told my W during an angry discussion "you are an adult and sometimes adults have to ask for what they want. You can't be breastfed your every need like an infant" Well, that went over real well! Anyway, I'm glad the air is getting fresher for you.
