Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You?? - Pt.2

[SueS]

I hate to say this, but IMO, he's not going to change anything until he confronts his greener grass fantasy and figures out he can't run from the source of his unhappiness - himself.

Look at how well you're doing Sue! Even when things are hard to handle you keep your head on straight. I think you're much stronger than you even realize. Take things one day at a time and keep taking care of yourself and D3.

Hi Sheila-

No need to say "I hate to say this" when voicing your opinion. You are right. I have come to realize this too. H will not change until he sees whether or not the grass is truly greener. I don't wish ill will on anyone, but in this case, I do hope that the grass is not greener. I want that in hopes that he will realize that he needs to find happiness within himself. I am afraid for him. He's had so many things that he considers failures in his life. The types of things that most people would just learn from and move past. I know that there is nothing I can do, but I fear that if this fails, he may do something to himself.

Journaling.......................................................
D3 seemed better when I picked her up yesterday. H called to see how she was last night and then checked on her when he got home around 10:00. We both fell asleep, so I'm not sure when he left, but D3 woke up at 2:00 am with a fever. Got some medicine in her and with some TLC and more sleep it went away. Tried to be very quiet when she was up as not to wake H. Then realized that H was not even home to have been woken up by us. He snuck in around 2:20. I got up to "use the facility" when he came home. It was more of a "I know you're just getting home" deal for me. I didn't say anything. Instead of him changing his clothes, he tried to act like he was just moving around the apt. I found him asleep on the couch this morning still dressed in his workout clothes.

I feel pretty good today. I have the power color Red on today. I've always heard that Red makes a woman feel/appear more powerful, in control.

Received another email from our father-figure friend. Great guy.

Sue,
I needed time to think about your latest revelations on H and hopefully offer some meaningful advice. In the end, all I can give you is a shoulder which is not much. Wish I could do more.
If your story was a soap opera television show, the situations you describe would be a real tear-jerker. Much less actually happening. I do not understand his emotional cruelty. And he seems beyond any advice or reason I could give him.
Being a single mom will be tough but fortunately you have your family and considering how you handled the last deal 6 years ago and your current 'come to senses' on this deal, you will prevail. Wish you were closer.
Did see this: his new partner will likely be subject to the same situation sooner or later. How will she handle it? Likely not as well and then likely he will turn back to you. Seems the pattern.

Take care,
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Time to get back to work!

SueS