I think the common thing that Forrest and I have in our sitch is that we were both in the same house as W so we did have that daily contact with them . When I first came to this board I had moved out of my home due to W's PA, but right away Forrest told me to move back home (and face the anger). I dragged my heels a bit but eventually went home, got on with things, and learnt about the anger as I went along.
I think Forrest could coach me along cos he'd just been through that phase, I tried to do the same for you cos I could see some similarities. But because you still have this separation from W it's difficult to see how to get things moving. I think the one thing you've clearly worked out is R talks don't work. So we won't do that again. But you need to be around W to make things happen. I'm wracking my brains at the moment to see how we can get things done. But no super ideas are appearing.
The only thing coming to mind is to make more contact with W and do things with her and the kids, but not in way which says "I want us get back together as man and wife". Something more like "We've all had a fun day must do this again sometime".
But aside from that you're in territory foreign to me so I’m not much help at the moment.
